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1RAMATIC WORKS OF ROBERT MARSHALL 




^be Duke of 
mtllfcranhie 

A FARCICAL ROMANCE IN THREE ACTS 

BY 

ROBERT MARSHALL. 



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THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE 



THE DUKE 
OF KILLICRANKIE 

A FARCICAL ROMANCE IN 
THREE ACTS 



By 
ROBERT MARSHALL 



Copyright, 19 10, by Samuel French, Ltd. 



New York London 

SAMUEL FRENCH j SAMUEL FRENCH Ltd 

Publisher 26 Southampton Street 

28-30 WEST 3 Sth STREET STRAND 






By ROBERT MARSHALL. 

SHADES OF NIGHT. U. 

A WIRE ENTANGLEMENT. 6d. 

A ROYAL FAMILY. Is. Qd, 

THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE, Is. U. 

HIS EXCELLENCY THE GOVERNOR, Is. Gd. 

THE SECOND IN COMMAND. Is. Qd. 

SAMUEL FRENCH LTD., 

26, Southampton Street, 
Strand, London. 

All Captain Marshall's other plays may be had in manu- 
script form for amateur performances from Messrs. Sami el 
French. 



©CLD 22654 



THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE 



First produced at the Criterion Theatre on January 20, 
1<M)4, under the management of Messrs. Frohman and 
Chudleigh, with the following cast : — 



Ian Douglas Macbayne . 

(Duke of Killicrankie. ) 
Mr. Henry Pitt-Welby, M.P. . 
Mr. Ambrose Hicks. 
Alexander Macbayne 

(Caretaker at Crag- o' -North.) 

Butler 

Footman . . . . . 

The Countess of Pangbourne . 

The Lady Henrietta Addison 

(Her Daughter.) 
Mrs. Mulholland .... 
Mrs. Macbayne .... 

( Housekeeper at Crag-o'-North. 



Mr. Graham Brown. 

Mr. Weedon Grossmith. 
Mr. Grenville. 
Mr. Kelt. 

Mr. Cooper. 
Mr. F cut on. 
Miss Helen Ron*. 
Miss Eva Moore. 

Miss Marie Illington. 
Miss Florence Harwood. 
) 



SCENERY 

ACT 1. 
Scene, — The Library at Glencoe House. Park Lane. 

ACT II. 
Scene.— Crag-o' -North, Fortronald, N.B. 

ACT III. 
Scenk. — The Gateway, Crag-o' -North. 

Period. — To-day. 



All applications respecting the performance of this 
play — both by professional and amateur companies — 
must be addressed to the sole agents : — 

Messrs. SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd., 
26, Southampton Street, 

Strand, London. 

The Amateur Fee of Five Guineas each and every 
representation must be paid prior to performance, 
and a written authority obtained giving permission 
for the production of the play. 

The Highland costumes and also any other costumes 
required, together with the w T igs, may be hired or 
purchased reasonably from Messrs. C. H. Fox, Ltd., 
27. Wellington Street, Strand, London. 



THE DUKE OF 
KILLICRANKIE 

ACT I. 

Scene. — The library at Glcncoe House, Park Lane. 
The room is in white Jacobean panelling, the hang- 
ings, carpets and furniture in two soft shades of 
green. Bookcases line the trails, and, above them, 
one or two old pictures. Above the bookcase at the 
back c. hangs a picture representing Crag-o '-North, 
one of the Duke's seats in Scotland. This must be 
clearly risible to the audience, and it represents an 
old castle built upon a precipitous crag, somewhat 
like the Castle of St. Michael's Mount. To the R. a 
door ; , beyond it r. a circular window with couch. 
Windows l.c, all the windows being of stained glass. 
L a fireplace, above it, a few steps lead to a corridor . 
The steps hare portieres on either side. L. above 
fireplac \, a table with spirits, cigarettes, soda water. 
etc. L. c. a couch. R., a writing table. One or 
two old silver hurls filled with tea-roses. A few old 
bronzes. 

It is 1 a.m. on a night late in July, and a " small and 



10 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

early " is coming to a close. Faint sounds of waltz 
music are heard as if beyond corridor l. 

{The curtain having risen, Mrs. Mulholland enters 
l. flushed and impetuously. She is a handsome 
woman of thirty, wearing many diamonds and rather 
over-dressed, but in the height of the fashion. She is 
followed nervously by Henry Pitt- Welby, a well- 
bred looking man of thirty-five, with an innocent, 
expressionless face. He is immaculately dressed, in 
evening clothes, with white waistcoat, gloves and 
buttonhole. Mrs. Mulholland turns after enter- 
ing, sees she is followed by Welby, and sits r. of 
table l.) 

Welby. No one here, eh ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. And a very good thing too. 
(rises and crosses to sofa R., sits on l. end of it) 

Welby. I'm not as keen on dancing as I used to 
be. (crosses R. above piano) 

Mrs. Mulholland. I'm glad to hear it. 

Welby. Really? Why? (sits on r end of sofa) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Because perhaps in the future 
1 shall not find you at houses that 1 go to. (rises 
«ind sits l. of table r, c.) 

Welby. I'm sorry, (moves to l. end of sofa) 

Mrs. Mulholland. So am T. (fans herself 
vigorously) 

Welby. Er — am I right in thinking you've 
something on your mind ? 



Ac* I.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 



i i 



Mrs. Mulholland. {ceases fanning herself) Are 
you ever right in what you think ? 

Welby. I've aways admired you. 

Mrs. Mulholland. To be right in one instance 
doesn't constitute a habit, (repeats fanning bus.) 

Welby. You're worried, (rises, goes up to win- 
dow and opens it) I see it in your fan. 

{She closes fan with a snap.) 

You have a difficulty in getting a sufficient rush of 
cool air. 

Mrs. Mulholland. That's not surprising. 

(He comes down to above table r. c, sits.) 

To me you have the effect of the newly-discovered 
" radium." 

Welby. Then I ought to be an agreeable com- 
panion in the winter months, (laughs) 

(She turns and glares at him.) 

(rises) However, as this is July— it's only civil to 
leave you. 

Mrs. Mulholland. No, don't go yet. 

{He stops.) 

I've something to say to you. Do you think it is 
fair to me that you should constantly dog my steps, 
dine where I dine, dance where I dance, and so on ? 

Welby. We know the same set of people, (takes 
a step or two towards her) 

Mrs. Mulholland. That makes it all the more 



12 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

painful, since everybody knows that our engagement 
is broken oil. 

Welby. That was your fault. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes, I'm thankful to say it 
was. 

Welby. You never even gave me a reason. 
You never answered my letters of protest. To-night 
is the first time you've even looked at me. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I had a very good reason. 

Welby. Had you ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes. (rises and moves to 
sofa, sits on R. end of it) I found out that your sole 
idea was to marry money. 

Welby. (moves to below table r. c.) That was 
quite a minor consideration. I can't stop loving a 
woman merely because she's rich. That's no 
deterrent to me. (makes a movement to sit on sofa) 

Mrs. Mulholland. (places cushion to prevent 
him) You had given me to understand you were a 
man of property. 

Welby. So I am. 

(Above bus. with cushion repeated.) 

Mrs Mulholland. Yes, property so heavily 
mortgaged that the income from letting your place 
in Yorkshire doesn't even pay the interest. 

Welby. I know. Sickening, isn't it ? (leans 
ayainst table r.c.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. So that you hadn't even a 
home to give me if I had married you. 



ActL] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 13 

Welby. If you had married me, I needn't have 
left the place, (moves up c.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Exactly. In fact, I was to 
pay the piper. 

Welby. Only because I loved you. (crosses r. 
above piano and comes down R. of sofa) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Bah ! 

Welby. Had I known that your affection couldn't 
stand the test of my pecuniary embarrassments — a 
condition which many of the world's greatest heroes 
have experienced— 

Mrs. Mulholland. Don't be ridiculous ! (an- 
grily) I was very fond of you, and you know it. 

Welby. Well then, Amy [leans towards her, 

resting on arm of couch) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Amy ! 

Welby. (recoils, then sits on arm of sofa) I'm 
sorry. Being used to Christian names for over a year, 
I forgot for the moment. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Then was it fair to give out 
to everybody that I had thrown you over because 
you were a poor man ? 

Welby. But you've just admitted it. 

Mrs. Mulholland. No. I said it was because 
you wilfully misled me. (rises and moves up c.) 
And people are so sorry for you that some of your 
friends have even cut me. Only to-night Lady 
Pangbourne and her daughter Henrietta cut me dead 
in the most barefaced way. 



14 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [ Act I. 

Welby. Yes! (rises and moves to r. c.) You 
see, Lady Pangbourne is my godmother. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Not that I mind in the least. 
Her father was only a missionary. 

Welby. No, no, you wrong him. He was a 
colonial bishop. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I don't see the difference. 
(sits in armchair l. c.) 

(He leans on back of it.) 

However, all that's neither here nor there. As it 
seems we are doomed to meet each other in London 
and elsewhere, I propose that we should treat each 
other as ordinary acquaintances. 

Welby. I know. A bow, a smile and we pass on ; 
the world little dreaming that two souls are drifting 
further apart, (crosses to chair l. of table r. c. and 
sits) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes, that sort of thing. Ever 

sine?, poor Alfred died (dabs her eyes with 

handkerchief) 

(He sniffs in sympathy.) 

my motto has been, " Once a widow, always cautious." 
I've a good deal to contend against. For I know 
that many people turn up their noses at me, simply 
because the money he left me was made in glue. 

Welby. Oh, come, surely not. 

Mrs. Mulholland. But they do. I admit T wish 
he had made it by almost anything else. Glue is so 
difficult to forget, so hard to get away from. 



Act l] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 15 

Wei by. Yes. I see what you mean. 

Mrs Mulholland. (rises and moves to c.) An- 
other thing I want to suggest is, that, as far as possi- 
ble, perhaps yen won't go where you know I shall be- 
For instance, I'm going to Goodwood with the 
Haredales. 

Welby. That's awkward, so am I. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Very well, then, (crossing 
down R.) you deprive me of the pleasure. 

Welby. (rises and follows her) No, no, not for 
the world. I'll go in the crowd. 

Mrs. Mulholland. But why on earth do you 
want to go at all ? (turning to him) 

Welby. I've got a horse running. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Has it a chance of winning. 

Welby. None. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Then you needn't go. 

Welby. I never thought of that. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (turns away to l.) Later on I 
go to Cowes. 

Welby. Then of course I can't. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Were you going ? 

Welby. Yes, on the doctor's recommendation. 

Mrs. Mulholland. [coming to him) But you're 
not ill ? 

Welby. Insomnia. Ever since you broke things 
off I've scarcely slept a wink. 

(He tries in take her hand, she repulses him— he goes 
up c.) 



L6 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act 1. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I never saw you looking 
better. However, if that's the case, T'll give up 
Cowes. (crosses r. to below sofa) 

Welby. No, no, T won't hear of it. I'll give it 
up. (comes down to above chair l. of table R. c.) 
I can go to Brighton and take morphia tabloids. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes, the air of Brighton is 
excellent. But if you find it doesn't suit you. send 
me a wire and I'll leave Cowes. 

Welby. That is good of you. 

(Voices heard off.) 

Lady Pang bourne, (off) Come along, Henrietta, 
we must find Ian. 

Mrs. Mulholland. That's Lady Pangbourne's 
voice. I don't propose to give her the chance of 
cutting me again — I'm going, (crosses to r. of table 

(Lady Pangbourne and Lady Henrietta enter u 
Lady Pangbourne is a grand dame of sixty, white- 
haired and distinguished, Lady Henrietta is a 
charming and graceful woman of twenty-six. Lady 
Pangbourne comes to l. of table l. She stares a 
Mrs. Mulholland, as does Lady Henrietta, w&o 
is above table) 

Welby. I'll come with you. (backs towards door) 
Mrs. Mulholland. (crosses to him as she speaks) 
No. Please stay where you are. Good-night. 



VtL) the duke of KILLICRANKIE. 17 

Welby. (goes to door and holds it open — bows as 
she goes out) Good-night. 

(Exit Mrs. Mulholland r.) 

(Lady Henrietta laughs and goes above piano.) 

Lady Pangbourne. We thought we should find 
Ian here. 

Welby. (comes to k. C. to meet her) No. 1 fancy 
he's speeding the parting guest. 

Lady Pangbourne. Ah ! Quite the pleasantest 
moment at one's own party. That was Mrs. Mul- 
holland, wasn't it ? 1 didn't know that you were on 
terms again with the odious woman. 

Welby. Would you mind not calling her . 
" odious ? " 

Lady Pangbourne. But isn't she ? (sits in arm- 
chair L. c.) Even in the days of your engagement, 
when for your sake 1 gave her an occasional frigid 
bow or an icv smile, she never seemed to me to he — 
even in the most elastic sense of the word — a lady. 
Welby. She has been presented. And in any 
case 1 love her still. It's very painful to hear her 
spoken of as " odious.' 1 (he turns to Lady Hen- 
rietta, who comes to above chair r. c.) It's as much 
a^ to say I'm no judge of a future wife. What ? 

Lady Henrietta. You don't really care for her, 
Harry ? 

Welby. Most certainly 1 do. So much so. that 
I'm a perfect martyr to insomnia. 

Lady Henrietta. It's a very odd thing that each 

B 



is THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

of the five or six women with whom you've been 
desperately in love has been worth at the very least 
£10,000 a vuar. 

Wklbv. Mere coincidence. They're the people 
one meets. 

Lady Pangbourne. She wears her diamonds so 
badly. To-night she seemed to me an exuberant 
imitation of a chandelier at Versailles. 
(He goes wp L. c. Lady Henrietta moves down to 
sofa.) 

Lady Henrietta. Mother, don't! Harry feels 
it. The reason / dislike her is that I happen to know 
that she tells everybody that I am angling to marry 
Ian Killicrankie. So to-night \ merely stared at her. 
(sits on sofa) 

Wklijy. (down /<> above table \i. c.) She didn't 
see you. She's short-sighted. Only a moment ago 
she asked me why you weren't here to-night. 

DY Pang bourne. You are wry ingenuous, 
Harry. Too much so for your age. 

(J clock strikes two. She rises.) 

o'clock ! Go and find Ian, and tell him we want 
to 3ay good-night. 
il'by. Here ? 
ldy Pangbourne. Yes. 
Welby. (crosses above Lady Pangbourne to 
above tabh l. He turns back to Lady Pangbourne 
to speak) You won't go on talking about Mrs- 
Mulholland when I'm gone, will you? 



to ; tb3b DUKE Of KILLICRANKIE. 19 

Lady Pangbourne. No. Harry, she shall have 
her deserts : we'll ignore her. 

ft ELBY. 1 don't think that's quite nice of you. I 
really must ask you to— however— yes— 

(Exit l.) 

Ladv Pangbourne. (rms.sr* to cfew r. c.) Well, 

dear ? 

Lady Henrietta. Well? 

Lady Pangbourne. Has Ian been talking to you 

to -night ? 

Lady Henrietta. We danced one dance. 

Lady Pangbourne. And did he venture again ? 

Lady Henrietta. No. 1 kept him at arm's 
length— metaphorically. 

Lady Pangbourne. I wish 1 understood you, 
Henrietta, (sits L of table R. c.) 

Lady Henrietta. Is it so difficult? 

Lady Pangbourne. I want you to think of your 

future. 

L u>y Henrietta. Why ? 1 believe in living for 
the present: the future is "x"-an unknown 

quantity. 

Lady Pangbourne. But it has to be faced, dear. 
And what you do now should be with a view to bien- 
eti and comfort in middle age and after. Ah! it 
you only knew— that is the time to provide for, the 
lays when romance and longing have passed away, 
we have to make the best of material things. 
You like [an, don't you ? 



20 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

Lady Henrietta. We're very good friends. 
Lady Pangbourne. And, though, of course, it 
doesn't matter to a girl in your shoes, still it's some- 
thing to marry a duke. 

Lady Henrietta. It's such an American habit. 
We ought to have " protection " in duchesses. 
America nowadays dumps them all over Europe. 

Lady Pangbourne. Oh, come — a few are Eng- 
lish. 

Lady Henrietta. And, in point of physical size, 
of great weight in the country, {rises and crosses to 
l. c.) Anyhow, I'm not going to marry Ian. 

Lady Pangbourne. No, I suppose not. I could 
never hops that you would be guided by me. Daugh- 
ters were very different in my young days. As your 
father will tell you, I was a great beauty thirty years 
ago. 

Lady Henrietta. I think every one's mother has 
been that. But you married father because you 
loved him ? 

Lady Pangbourne. I compelled myself to love 
him. But to do that I had to suppress the great 
romance of my life. 

Lady Henrietta. What romance ? 

Lady Pangbourne. He was an Italian artist. 

Lady Henrietta. Poor mother. I never knew. 

Lady Pangbourne. The blow was lessened on 

finding that he was only a variety artist, and that his 

special line was travelling about with a performing 

bear. On that discovery I married your father 



\. T r.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 21 

almost cheerfully, and I think I may say that my 
spirits have improved annually ever since. 

(Duke's voice heard off. Enter l. followed by Welby 

the Duke of Killicrankie. He is a good-looking, 

ial, devil-may-care man of thirty-five, extremely 

well groomed and dressed ; light, easy and familiar 
in manner, but never at the expense of good breeding- 
Duke crosses to c, speaking as he moves. Welby 
goes to above armchair l. c.) 

Duke. So here you are ! Capital ! 

(Lady Henrietta joins Welby.) 

(to above chair r. c.) D'you know I thought you had 
slipped quietly away, and I felt shockingly hurt, I 
did really. 

Lady Pangbourne. Well, it's quite time we were 
gone, (moves down R. a little) I'm sure everybody 
else has. 

Duke. Yes, that's what's so delightful. Now we 
shall have a quiet little supper all to ourselves. 
Harrv. take 

(Welby offers his arm to Lady Henrietta. When 
Duke says " Lady Pangbourne" Welby moves 
reluctantly to her and offers his arm.) 

Lady Pangbourne into the little supper room, and 
we'll follow — I want to show Lady Henrietta an 
Elizabethian loving-cup that I picked up at a sale. 

Lady Pangbourne. But isn't it too late ? 

Duke. Not a bit. The morning is young. 



22 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [At.-r I 

Lady Pangbourne. A quarter of an hour then — 
no more, (takes Welby's arm, and they cross l., 
speaking as the.y go) Luckily I had almost no dinner. 

Welby. Neither had I. Can't eat, can't sleep. 

Lady Pangbourne. I thought your appetite at 
dinner was marvellous. 

Welby. I keep up appearances, that's all. 

(Exeunt l. Welby and Lady Pangbourne.) 

Duke, (takes rose from r. end of mantel and moves 
to Lady Henrietta, ic/io is above chair l. c.) You 
would like to see the loving-cup, wouldn't you ? 

Lady Henrietta. If you wish me to. 

Duke. I don't know that 1 do. I might if 1 
thought we could both drink from it. {goes to mantel 
and takes rose from L. end of if.) 

Lady Henrietta. Thanks. I've just had some 
hock cup. (crosses to piano) 

(He shakes drops from roses, which are supposed to 
touch Lady Henrietta. He apologizes — moving 
to her.) 

Duke. Did you know this was my birthday ? 

Lady Henrietta. No ! 

Duke. Yes. 

Lady Henrietta. Is it ? 

Duke. Yes, and by way of celebrating it, I want 
you to be good-natured arid let me propose to you 
again, (he dries rose* with handkerchief and gives them 
to her) 



\<rl.j THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE 23 

Lady Henrietta. For the fifth time ? 

Duke. The fourth. 

Lady Henrietta. Is it. One loses count. 

Duke. Yes. I've only asked you three times in 
the last eighteen months, (moves to above pianc 

\j\dy Henrietta. And have you anything new 
to plead ? So few entertainments stand repetition 
four times. T had hoped you would grow out of lov- 
ing me. Is there any chance of that ? (places roses 
on piano) 

Duke. None whatever. And even if there were 
! shouldn't be so gauche as to admit it. 

Lady Henrietta. Yet you are always perfectly 
cheerful. 

Duke. That's because I could never hope that 
you would eventually accept me if I worried you 
by constantly playing the despondent lover. f t 
would bore you. 

Lady Henrietta. Horribly ! (sits on piano stool) 

Duke, (crosses to chair r. c. and leans on back of 
it) But don't think because T am talking lightly and 
laughingly now that 1 am not serious. 

(She begins to play piano.) 

T:i m > are times when I'm alone, when the whole 
world is you, and nothing else has any meani. g. And 
then — well, then — 3^011 could neveT guess what I 
through, and ! shall never tell you. But I know I 
becom.) suddenly another being in every sense and 
thought. 



'34 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

Lady Henrietta. Ian — please ! (stops playing 
and looks up at him) 

Duke. That — you see — is the despondent lovei 
S told you you wouldn't like it. So let us go back 
and I'll tell you what i really want to say to-night, 
(returns to above piano) 

Lady Henrietta. Yes. That's much better. 
(she begins to play again) 

Duke. So far as 1 remember my three former 
proposals were, more or less, appeals to your heart, 
and so on. 

Lady Henrietta. Yes. 

Duke. Well, to-night I want to make an appeal 
to your head. 

Lady Henrietta. Oh, a change of tactics. 

Duke. Yes. I want you to think of me for the 
moment as an investment. 

Lady Henrietta. 1 see. What they call in the 
City a gilt-edged security. 

Duke. Yes, but one that would pay very big 
dividends 

Lady Henrietta. Oh, Ian ! 

Duke. Honestly, 1 wouldn't suggest that you 
should marry for mere material advantages, if I 
thought there was the remotest chance of your ever 
being in love with any one. 

Lady Henrietta. Perhaps I am. (stops playing 
and rises) 

Duke. No, no. That word " perhaps " is my 
point. You can no more mistake love than you can 
measles. It's overwhelming. 



Act I.] THE DUKE OK KILLICRANKIE. 25 

Lady Henrietta. But quite curable, (crosses 
to above chair l. c.) 

Duke. No ! (moves to above chair r. c.) There 
it differs from all other sicknesses. You don't want 
to be euied. You resent any attempt at cure, you 
cultivate and excite the disorder, you revel in fresh 
symptoms, (leans his arm on back of chair) Every- 
thing in life gets out of focus, one is only conscious 
of an exquisite madness, and you dream of wonderful 
gleaming horizons, that slip further away the harder 
you race to them. 

(She crosses to below table r. c.) 

Tell me, don't you see something strange and beauti- 
ful in the fact that apparently for no particular reason 
I worship the very ground you tread on ? 

Lady Henrietta, (picking up handglass front 
table and looks at herself in it) I see nothing strange 
in it. It seems to me most natural, (replaces glass , 
picks up pack of patience cards and sits on sofa) 

Duke. What 1 mean is — this really isn't rudeness, 
it's only candour — there are other women as attractive 
as you are, others as clever, others as good — why is it, 
then, that notwithstanding that, you are everything 
in the world to me ? (moves chair from L. of table so 
as to fare her, and sits) 

Lady Henrietta. Because I have one gift that 
apparently has been denied to the others. 

Duke. What gift ? 

Lady Henrietta. Too much sense to rush into 



26 THE DUKE OF K1LLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

your arms merely because you hold them out. That 
is so new an experience for you that you are entranced . 

Duke. Very likely. I shouldn't wonder. I never 
thought of that. I admit that women have spoilt me. 
Often when I have said at a meal, merely, " Will you 
pass the salt, please," I have seen them look as if 
some unexpressed passion lay behind my words. 

Lady Henrietta. I really almost wish I could 
love you. 

Duke. Do you ? 

Lady Henrietta. It would make mother bo 
happy. 

Duke. D'you know, frankly, 1 can't see why you 
find it so difficult ; I should have thought it would 
come to you quite naturally. 

Lady Henrietta. You feel that not to love you 
is a form of eccentricity ? 

Duke. Almost worse than that. It seems to me 
flying in the face of Providence. What is it that's 
wrong with me ? 

(Lady Henrietta puts down cants, rises and crosses 
to l. c. He turns to her.) 

Lady Henrietta. It would take too long to tell, 
but you're too vague, too indefinite. You never 
carry things through. And in every woman, even 
after many seasons, there is something of the school- 
girl left. She may never have loved, yet her ideal is 
always dimly before her. Part of my ideal is strength- 



Act J. I THE DUKE OF KILL1CRANKIE. 27 

persistence, and if you don't mind my saying -so, you 
are a butterfly. 

Duke. 1 should have thought I'd done a good 
deal one way and another. 

Lady Henrietta. Yes. One way and another. 
That's the trouble. You started your career with 
politics, and might have held office in time. That 
was thrown over. Then you went out to the War, 
and did splendidly. You were going to raise a regi- 
ment of your own, when you suddenly got tired of 
soldiering. You came back to England, and started 
a newspaper. A few months ago, you electrified 
everybody by giving out that you were in sympathy 
with Socialism. 

Duke. So I am. 

Lady Henrietta, (going to him) Then isn't it 
rather weak of you to remain a duke ? 

Duke. I don't think so. 
(She goes up l. c. He rises and follows her R. c.) 
One can't help being a duke. Even if I called myself 
Mr. Killicrankie, the sixpenny papers wouldn't have 
it. If I walk in the Park, they say so in three lines, 
and the paper has an enormous sale. 

(She crosses to above table r. c.) 
But I can't help feeling that I belong to the most 
vulgar section of humanity, [crosses to chair l. c. 
and sits on arm of it) 

Lady Henrietta. That is easy to say. 

Duke. Really, I'd rather not say it. But do you 



28 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

think we're good sorts ? We hunt, shoot, eat so much 
that we become mere predatory animals, too tired 
and too fed up to think. 

Lady Henrietta. That may be for the best. 

Duke. Very likely. For we're not offensively 
intelligent. We take degrees, and forget promptly 
all we learnt. If you asked me now whether a rhom- 
bus were a measure of verse or a building in the 
Forum, I couldn't tell you. In knowledge of life, 
in wit, in conversation, we can't approach the attain- 
ments of a Bond Street hairdresser. 

Lady Henrietta. Oh well, it's too late to argue 
on social ethics and I must be going. 

(She moves down to sofa and picks up her gloves. He 
rises and crosses to above table r. c. and picks up 
her fan fro?n piano) 

Puke. Then I suppose we return to former con- 
ditions ? No hope and that sort of thing ? 

Lady Henrietta. I'm afraid so. I wish it could 
be otherwise, for it's quite true that I like you better 
than any other friend I have. And if I may, I'll 
always be a 

Duke. Not a sister, please. 

Lady Henrietta. No — a true friend. 

Duke. Thanks. One gets so tired of the sister 
who marries somebody else's brother. 

[Enter l., Lady Pangbourne with cloak on, and 
Welby. They are followed by a footman carrying 
Lady Henrietta's cloak. Lady Pangbourne 



AciL] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 29 

crosses to c, speaking as she goes. Welby moves. 
to above table l. Footman remains in doorway l.) 

Lady Pangbourne. 1 said a quarter of an hour, 
Henrietta, and I've ordered the carriage. You must 
go home supperless. 
' Duke. Oh, come— another quarter of an hour. 

Lady Henrietta. No, really— mother's tired, 
and I'm quite ready. 

(Lady Henrietta crosses l, and joins Welby. 
Duke moves down r. a little. Lady Pangbourne 
goes to him. While Duke and Lady Pangbourne 
are talking, Welby signals to Footman to give Urn 
Lady Henriettas cloak. Footman does so, 
and crosses R. up stage and exit r.i.e. Welby puts 
on Lady Henrietta's. cloak.) 

Lady Pangbourne. What have you been talking 
about? Something very engrossing, surely. 

Duke. Yes. I've been describing to Lady Hen- 
rietta one of my castles in Spam. 

Lady Pangbourne. I didn't know you had 

property there. 

Duke. Oh, yes. Quite a big place. When 
Henrietta marries me I hope to see you there. 

Lady Pangbourne. That will be too delightful. 
I'm told it's a wonderful climate. But has she given 
you any encouragement ? 

Duke. Oh, dear me, no! Everything is over 
between us, for the time being. We've just settled 



30 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

that. But 1 shall begin again presently, on new lines. 

Lady Pangbqurne. i\ly poor Ian! 
{Enter r. a Footman, followed l></ a Butler. Foot- 
man remains in doorway. Butleb to above sofa.) 

BUTLER. Your ladyship's carriage. 
(Butler, during following dialogue, closes window 

> \d piano, d\id crosses l. to spirit stand, where he 

arranges decanters, etc.) 

Lady PANGBOURNE. Then come along, Henrietta; 
good-night, Harry, (bows to Wklisy, who returns it 
coldly) GrOod-nigHt, Ian. (shakes hands with Duke) 

Dukk. (Jood-night. 

Lady Pangbourne. A delightful little party. 
(Exit n.) 

Lady Hknriktta. Good-night, Harry, (shakes 
Welby's hand, (jives Ian her hand, then crosses hi hi 
anil hints back for fan) 

Duke, (gives her fan) 1 am going to vacillate 
no more. 

Lady Henrietta. That's right. 

Di kk. Remember it was your own advice. 

i \dy Henrietta. I won't forget. 

Dukk. t am sure you won't. You will have 
every reason to remember. 

(Exeunt Duke and Lady Henrietta, followed % 
Footman.) 

Welijy. (to Butler) (Jive me some whisk} 
and soda, (mores down <\. humming tune) 
Butler. Yes, sir. (fills glass for Welby) 



V.il., THE DTK!-: OF KILLH RANKLE. 31 

Welby. Strange woman, Amy. (turns back to 
again humming) Has everybody gone ? (sits 
armchair l. c.) 

Butler. Yes, sir. (handing whisky and soda on 
tray) Whisky and soda, sir. 

Welby. Thank you. (takes it and drinks) 

(Exit Butler.) 

{Enter r. the Duke.) 

Duke. Harry, the strain's too great, (crosses 
to spirit table L.i 

Welby. What strain? 

Duke. You wouldn't understand, (pours himself 
out a whisky and soda) You haven't the delicacy of 
fibre. Your fibre is to mine as a hempen rope is to 
a violin string ; when the winds of enchantment are 
playing you merely flap about. When they touch me 
;n ZEolian harp, and I thrill back to them. 

Welby. Do 1 never thrill ? 

Duke. Only to the main chance, (drinks) 

We lbv. Of what ? 

Duke. Cash down generally, (he moves to c.) 

Welby. At this hour of night it's a little unkind 
bo remind me that 1 owe you money. 

Duke. That wasn't my idea, (comes down l. 
to below fable) That's nothing. 1 neither know nor 
care what you owe me. But I am utterly, hopelessly 
wretched . 

Welby. I told you not to eat iced truffles. 



32 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

Duke. I didn't. I wish 1 had. No. It's my 
heart that's wrong. 

Welby. Then give up smoking. 
Duke. Fool ! (puts glass down on table) 
Welby. Well, birds of a feather nock together— 
and here we are. 

Duke, (crosses to above chair r. c.) Seriously, 
Harry, J am at my wits' end. 
Welby. What, Henrietta ? 

Duke. Henrietta ? Lady Henrietta, if you don't 
mind. 

Welby. It's always darkest before dawn. 
Duke, {angrily) Dark, dawn ; I wasn't talking 
about daybreak. 

Welby. Don't excite yourself, my dear fellow. 
You think T don't feel things as you do, but you're 
wrong. Look at Amy. 
Duke. Amy ? 

Welby. Mrs. Mulholland, if you don't mind. 
Duke. She doesn't interest me. (moves down r. 
and then turns back and walks up c.) 

Welby. Possibly not. But to me she is the centre 
of all interest. 

Duke. And capital ? 
Welby. What ? 
Duke. Nothing. 

Welby. I suppose to you she seems common- 
place. But to me her sterling worth— 
Duke. Or worth sterling? 
Welby. What ? 



Act I.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 33 

Duke. Nothing, (comes down to the side of 
Welby's chair) Look here, I'm not talking about 
Mrs. Mulholland — I'm talking about myself. 

Welby. That is obvious to the meanest capacity. 
Duke. Don't let us nag at each other, Harry. I 
dare say you have emotions — of a sort ; emotions 
that seem important to a not very profound intelli- 
gence. 

Welby. You're always gibing at my mental 
capacity. Yet I'm a Member of the House of 
Commons. 

Duke. Am I to congratulate the nation on that ? 
Welby. I don't know. I suppose you credit us 
as a body with intelligence. 

Duke. I'm not so sure. You give us no public 
indication to go by. Your chief wisdom seems to be 
that you never listen to each other's speeches. How- 
ever, as I said, don't let us nag at each other. (geL 
small chair from above table b. c. and places it beside 
Welby's and sits) To-night has brought me to a 
crisis, and quite seriously T want you to help me. 
Welby. How ? 

Duke. I want you as far as possible to understand 
the frame of mind I'm in. You see me every day 
apparently an ordinary humdrum being. 

Welby. Yes. You're much like other people. 
Perhaps you talk a little more than most. 

Duke. Yet all the time I am consumed and 
tortured by the passion that has come to me. 
Welby. Humph ! 



34 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

Duke. I'm not joking. I'm telling you absolute 
truth, (rises and jmts one knee on chair facing audi- 
ence) For two years I have tried by every imagin- 
able strategy to induce her to marry me. And I have 
failed — utterly. To-night I saw the hopelessness of it 
more clearly than ever before. 

Welby. Time, my dear Ian, time, the great 
healer- 

Duke, (replaces chair above table r. c.) For 
Heaven's sake, Harry, don't ladle out Exeter Hall 
chestnuts. 

Welby. Well, what do you want me to say ? 

Duke. Nothing, (crosses l. above Welby) 

Welby. Got a cigar ? 

(Duke takes box of cigars from spirit stand and places 
it open on table beside Welby, and then goes up to 
window. Welby smells cigar, looks at label on box, 
throws cigar back in box and closes lid. Duke then 
comes down c.) 

Duke. What I want you to grasp is the reason 
why the agony 1 suffer has passed beyond all bearing. 
Look at my life — born with a golden spoon in my 
mouth, and with strawberry leaves in my hair, what 
chance had I ? The inevitable has happened. Ever 
since I succeeded at seventeen I've had to breathe the 
atmosphere that is generated by £100,000 a year 
and a fifteenth century peerage, (moves down R.) 
My lightest whim gratified, my smallest wish antici- 
pated, my very vices applauded, (turns back to 



Act I.j THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 35 

Welby, sees his eyes closed, rushes up to him and 
shakes his arm) Confound you, you're asleep ! 

Welby. {opening his eyes) Asleep — never ! I 
simply can't sleep if there's a noise going on. What 
were you talking|about ? 

Duke. About my life. Can you conceive one 
more demoralizing, more grossly self-centred ? I've 
only had to hold out my hand for the fruits of the 
earth to drop into it. We struggle, no climbing, mark 
you, the fruit has simply dropped. I take a degree at 
Oxford, how ? — Heaven only knows. I command a 
squadron in the Life Guards — I win the Derby — I 
run a newspaper — I see active service — I win the 
fifth prize in The Times competition — many women 

have loved me 

Welby. Are you sure ? 

Duke. You yourself are my authority, {moves 
down r.) You've told me so repeatedly, generally as 
a prelude to borrowing money. 
Welby. I'd forgotten. 

Duke. I've been choked and blinded and para- 
lysed by what fools call the prizes of life, {picks up 
cushion, flings it down angrily and sits on sofa) Prizes 
of life ! Why, man, they're millstones about the neck 
that drag one lower and lower, {rises and rushes up 
to Welby) And I ask you, is it fair ? 

Welby. It isn't fair that you should have all the 
prizes and I all the blanks, if that's what you mean ? 
Duke. It's quite extraordinary that you must 
drag yourself in at every turn. 



3(5 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act J. 

Welby. I wish I had a few of your millstones. 

Duke. And what is the net result of it all ? I 
am a pampered beast. A pampered beast 

Welby. Yes, yes! 

Duke. What ? 

Welby. No, no ! 

Duke. — who loses all sense of proportion when 
anything is denied me. (goes up to fireplace) And 
when it comes to being cheated of the one great over, 
whelming passion of my life, can you wonder that I 
become an abnormal creature, (comes down to l. of 
Welby) aren't you ready to overlook whatever 1 
do to gain my end ? 

Welby. And what may that be ? 

Duke. I'm coming to that. It's there I want.you 
to help me. So let us simmer down. I'm afraid we've 
been a little excited, (crosses to above table l.) 

Welby. Nothing to speak of. 

Duke. I'm perspiring, (takes Welby's drink) 

Welby. That's mine. 

Duke, (putting it down) I'm sorry, (helps him- 
self at table) 

Welby. It's a hot night. 

Duke. Yes, stifling ! I'll be all right in a mom ent 
(crosses to window and opens it) Anyhow, I'm glad 
I've blurted it out, even to you. I don't expect you 
to fully realize the chaos of my inner life. Your 
imagination is hardly sensitive enough for that. 
(moves to above chair R. c.) But it's better than 
talking to space. 



Act I.] THE DUKe OF KILLICRANKIE. 37 

Welby. I enjoy listening to you ; it's like a taran- 
tella. One never knows when you are going to stop. 

Duke. It relieves me. 

Welby. You know, everybody says I've been 
awfully slack of late. 

Duke. Yes. That's nothing ; you'll get over that 
(crosses l. above Welby) 

Welby. I hope so. 

Duke. The great thing is not to harp on it. 

Welby. You said something about my helping 
you. 

Duke. Yes. 

Welby. How ? 

Duke. I'll tell you. (he assures himself that door l. 
is closed and sits l. of table) Remember — we're tiled. 

Welby. Of course. 

Duke. There is a word in the English language 
that is derived from the Latin ab and duco. 

Welby. Ab — from; duco — I lead. 

Duke. You surprise me, Harry, I'd no idea you 
were a scholar. 

Welby. I just missed my degree. 

Duke. The word I speak of is " abduction." 

Welby. I was going to say that. 

Duke. And to plunge in medias res, I'm going to 
abduct Lady Henrietta. 

Welby. What ? (rising very slowly and looking 
at Duke in astonishment) 

Duke. Yes, that's right. Keep cool. Try to 
think it out. 



38 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

We ley. You are — going — to abduct 

Duke. Yes, Lady Henrietta. Queer idea, isn't 
it? 

Welby. My dear Ian — ■ — (picks up his glass 
from table) 

Duke. You take it very well, Harry. 

Welby. Ah, it's a dream. That's what it is. 
After all these weeks of insomnia, I'm asleep at last. 

Duke. No, old boy, you're wide awake, (rises 
and slaps Welby on shoulder) 

Welby. Am I ? (drinking) 

Duke. You don't drink in dreams, do you ? 

Welby. Oh, don't I ? I'm abstemious enough 
in real life, but in dreams — oh, by George ! 

Duke. Yes, I suddenly thought of the scheme as 
i was saying good-bye to her to-night. 

Welby. You — really mean it ? 

Duke. Yes. 

Welby. We're not living in the Middle Ages, you 
know. 

Duke. Obviously. 

Welby. And London isn't Venice, despite the 
rainfall, (goes up c.) 

Duke, (kneels on chair l. c. back to audience) My 
dear fellow, the thing's in a nutshell. Either I marry 
Lady Henrietta somehow, or I become a lunatic. 
Which do you advise ? 

Welby. With a view to securing the greatest 
happiness of the greatest number, I should say, " Let 
Nature take her course." 



Act I.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 39 

Duke. And I decline to act on your advice. 
(crosses down R.) 

Welby. (crosses to spirit stand) That I antici- 
pated, (picks up and looks anxiously at the whisky 
decanter) 

Duke. No, I haven't been drinking, or very little. 
I'll tell you the scheme, (moves to c.) You know 
my place in Inverness-shire, " Crag-o'-North " ? 

Welby. No. You once asked me, but you forgot 
to enclose a railway ticket. 

(Welby moves to below chair l. c.) 

Duke. Well, there it is. (goes up R. c, points to 
picture on wall) An old feudal fortress, built on a 
sheer crag three hundred feet high, and absolutely 
impregnable even to-day. I only use it for a couple 
of weeks in the year for the grouse, (comes down c.) 
If I succeed in getting Lady Henrietta there— there 
she will stay until she agrees to marry me. 

Welby. And how do you propose to get her 
there ? 

Duke. Easily. Her aunt, old Lady Glenfinlay. 
lives at a desolate spot forty miles from Crag-o'- 
North. And this is where you come in. 

Welby. Oh, do I ? 

Duke. Yes. You go there and send an urgent 
wire in Lady Glenfinlay's name to Henrietta, begging 
her to come north without delay — illness of the old 
lady, of course. 

Welby. That's what I do, is it ? 



40 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act 1. 

• Duke. That is the first thing. Henrietta com- 
plies at once and leaves London with her maid. 
Accidentally I meet her at Perth. The train there 
is in two parts, the front carriages go to Fortronald, 
our station, the back ones to Glenfinlay. I take care 
that she gets into the wrong carriage, and eventually — 
of course to our mutual surprise — we meet at Fort- 
ronald. I am overwhelmed at her misfortune, and 
offer her the hospitality of Crag-o'-North. There is 
nothing for it, no hotel near, and she accepts. 

Welby. Does she ? 

Duke. Of course. 

Welby. And where am I, when this is going on ? 

Duke. With me, in the train. 

Welby. In the wrong carriage ? 

Duke. No ! That is your natural propensity, 
hut in this case you will be in the right one. 

Wel iY. But the whole scheme will compromise 
her hopelessly, (comes down l.) 

Duke. No, it won't. I've much too profound a 
respect for her. I shall have some one there to play 
chaperon and she will be treated as a queen. 

Welby. (crosses r.) My dear Ian, the whole 
business would be a shocking scandal, you would be 
ostracized. 

Duke. To me that isn't of the smallest moment- 
(moves to above chair r. c.) The point is, are you 
willing to help me ? 

Welby. No, no, 1 daren't do it. I'm too unlucky. 
(goes to side of chair l. c.) 



Act!.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 4! 

Duke. Unlucky, how ? (goes down r. to below 
sofa) 

Welby. In everything. Whatever I embark in 
goes wrong. Do you know that I missed the En- 
cijclopcedia Britannica at half price by a single day ? 

Duke. Did you ? 

Welby. I did, indeed. When I woke up on 
Saturday, the 19th, the last day, I thought it wa ; 
Friday. Oh, it was cruel luck ! 1 was so sick about 
it that I've given up taking in The Times, (crosses 
down l.) 

Duke. Your luck will change, (comes to c.) 
See me through this, and I won't forget it. 

Welby. 1 daren't, really I daren't, (comes up 
to Duke) 

Duke. You wouldn't be responsible for what I 
do? 

Welby. I doubt if you are. 

Duke. Harry ! 

Welby. No, 1 couldn't afford to risk it. People 
would drop me. And for years I've spent most of my 
life as the guest of dear old friends, (sits in armchair 
l. c.) 

Duke. I'll more than make good any financial loss 
you may incur in that way. (comes close to Welby's 
chair) 

Welby. Would you ? 

Duke. Yes. I promise you that. 

Welby. In writing. With definite figures ? 

Duke. Yes. 



42 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act I. 

Welby. Well, of course — we might go into that. 

Duke. Then let us meet to-morrow morning, 
and go into details. 

Welby. At eleven. 

Duke. At eleven, {goes up r.) 

Welby. (as if suddenly struck by an idea) Wait a 
moment. I've got it. (thinking hard) Yes — no— 
yes, I've got it. (rises) 

Duke. Got what ? (comes do ten to Welby) 

Welby. An extraordinary inspiration. I'll do 
it — on one condition. 

Duke. Well ? 

Welby. That Amy— Mrs. Mulholland — be asked 
to Crag-o'-North as the chaperone. 

Duke. Mrs. Mulholland? Yes, 1 suppose she'd do. 

Welby. Do ! Of course she would. And it- 
would give me the very opportunity I've been waiting 
for. It would throw us together, (crosses down l.) 

Duke. The old story. Self, self, you can think 
of nothing else. 

Welby. I believe she'd many me simply to avoid 
a scandal, (comes back to Duke) You've no idea 
how nervous she is about her reputation. 

Duke. Naturally. 

Welby. What ? 

Duke. Nothing. Let's have a look at Crag-o'- 
North. 
[They go up and each get on chairs on cither side of 

the picture. Duke on the l., Welby on the r.) 
You'll see how the land lies. 



Act I.] THE DUKE OF K1LLICRANKIE. 43 

Welby. What an extraordinary place. Like 
Saint Michael's Mount. 

Duke. These would be Henrietta's rooms. Mrs. 
Mulholland can go to the Tower. 

Welby. The Tower ? What, up there ? She's 
not used to that sort of thing. 

Duke. Oh, she won't mind. 

Welby. I beg your pardon. Anyhow, I mind. 
Why shouldn't she have these ? 

Duke. Because they're mine. We must occupy 
apartments in separate wings. That's your room — 
the armoury. 

Welby. An armoury ? 

Duke. Yes, there's a camp bed in it. 

Welby. I never heard of any one sleeping in an 
armoury. 

Duke. My dear Harry, your views are a mere 
waste of breath, as things will be done entirely as 1 
choose. The place is mine, the plan is mine, and 
you'll find that when my foot is on my native heath, 
I stand suggestions from no one — etc. 

Welby. I don't see why you and Lady Henrietta 
should have all the best rooms. Amy is a most sensi- 
tive woman. Now why shouldn't I have your rooms r 
so as to be near her in case of an alarm, or she could 
have the lower suite, and I — etc. 

(These two speeches spoken volubly together.) 
(Curtain commences to descend on the words " The plan 
is mine.'") 
end of act i. 



ACT II. 

Scene. — Crag-o -North, Fortronald, N.B. At the back, 
almost the whole width of the stage, is an embrasured 
recess with five windows, separated by Gothic stone- 
work. The windows are lozenge- paned. Through 
them can be seen a distant view of mountain peak and 
heather moor. R. steps lead to a gallery that runs 
above the windows and down the l. On the L. a 
large ingle nook with log fire burning. Up stage 
on R. a corridor, supposed to lead off by the 
Entrance Hall, This can be screened off by portieres. 
l. a door, l. c. a table is laid for five for supper. 
The room is lighted by old candelabras. Moonlight 
without. An old eight-day clock, some family por- 
traits, stag's head, etc. The walls and woodwork 
are of plain oak without any carving, and the room 
has an air of comfort. The furniture is old and 
plain, but of good design. It is 10 p.m. 

(As the curtain rises, Alexander Macbayne, an 
elderly Highlander of about sixty, is at fireplace 
putting log on. At the sound of wheels Macbayne 
goes to window, opens it and looks out. He is in rather 
antiquated evening dress. Mrs. Macbayne, his 

45 



40 THE DUKE OF KJLLICRANKIE. [Act EI. 

ivife, a woman of the same age, wearing a black silk 
dress, and a bunch of keys hanging from her waist- 
band, is decorating the supper table with heather.) 

Macbayne. They're clattering into the courtyard. 

(Mrs. Macbayne goes up to vnndow and stands l. of 
Macbayne, looking over his shoulder.) 

Mrs. Macbayne. Can ye see hoo many's there? 

Macbayne. There's three mule carts and four 
folks on ponies. 

Mrs. Macbayne. It's the first time his Grace has 
come afore the 12th that I can mind, {returns to l. 
of table) 

Macbayne. Aye ! I canna understand it. (comes 
down R. c. a little) And givin' me orders to lay in 
provisions for two months. It's incomprehensible ! 

Mrs. Macbayne. They were aye an eccentric 
family. 

Macbayne. The aristocracy's no' what it used to 
be. They're gettin' kind o' mixed. 

Mrs. Macbayne. Ay ! Sort of democratic. 

Macbayne. (at door) Here they come. 
(Enter k., Lady Henrietta, followed by the Duke 

and a Maid. Lady Henrietta goes to foot of 

stairs, Maid b/j window, Duke crosses L. below 

window.) 

Duke. Ah ! Macbayne — and Mrs. Macbayne ! 
How well you're looking ! 

Mrs. Macbayne. Thank you, your Grace. 

Lady Henrietta. What a quaint old place ! 



Act II.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 47 

Duke. Yes, isn't it ? {goes up to above table c.) 
But you would like to be shown to your rooms ? 

Lady Henrietta. Yes, please, if I may. 

Duke. They're through that corridor. Macbayne 
will show you. 

(Macbayne (joes up steps and holds door open for 
Lady Henrietta.) 
Lady Henrietta. I see. 

(Exit c, followed by Maid and Macbayne.) 

(Duke crosses to r. c. Enter Mrs. Mulholland, in 
travelling dress and hat, followed by Maid and Welby 
in tweeds, breeches, etc. Mrs. Mulholland goes 
to l. of chair at foot of stairs. Maid in front of 
window, Welby to r.) 
Duke. Come along, Mrs. Mulholland ! Welcome 

to Crag-o' -North. 

Mrs. Mulholland. It seems a remarkable 

fortress. 

Duke. Yes ; you'll see over it to-morrow. Mrs. 

Macbayne will show you your rooms. 

{Exit Duke r.) 

Mrs. Macbayne. They are at the end of that 
passage. Will I show ye them the noo ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. You can show my maid 
where they are. 

Mrs. Macbayne. Very guid, ma'am. I'll just 
dae that. {To the Maid.) Come with me. 

(Maid crosses l. below table — exeunt l.) 



48 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act II. 

(Mrs. Mulholland comes down r. of table, Welby 
conies to R. of her. He tries to speak, she glares at 
him and moves to below table, then up l. of it to above 
it before saying " Supper for five." Welby watches 
her anxiously.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. {looking at supper table) 
Supper for five ! Where are the others ? 

Welby. What others ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. The house party. 

Welby. I've J no idea. Probably coming to- 
morrow. 

Mrs. Mulholland. To-morrow ! Then if it 
hadn't been for the accident of Lady Henrietta turn- 
ing up unaccountably at Fortronald. I should have 
been here alone with you two men ? 

Welby. I suppose/ It's not my doing, you know. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I'm not so sure, {takes a step 
towards him) You have a very guilty look. And 
hew agreeable for me if it got about that I came here 
alone with you and the Duke. 

Welby.' Really, 1 do think you're too anxious 
about your reputation. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Not at all. {moves down l. 
of table to below it) One's reputation is the result of 
caution. Why wasn't I told that you were to be 
here ? 

Welby. I don't know. 1 It isn't my party. 

Mrs. Mulholland. {taking a step or two towards 
Welby) ^ Did you know that 1 was coming ? 



Act II. ] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 4<> 

Welby. I had a presentiment that you were. 
Mrs. Mulholland. That means you knew. And 
who is the fifth ? (pointing to table) 

Welby. I don't know. I'm afraid he hasn't 
arrived. I think his name is Harris. 

Mrs. Mulholland. The husband of Mrs. Harris, 
no doubt, (crosses to l. of table and sits) And Lady 
Henrietta ! Of all possible quartettes, could any be 
more ill-assorted ? A five-mile drive from Fort- 
ronald, and she never opened her lips to me. I bowed 
to her in the dark, but she took absolutely no notice. 
Welby. But you say it was dark ? (sits R. of 
table) 

Mrs. Mulholland. An ordinary woman can see 
quite clearly in the dark. In addition to which she 
has the advantage of being a cat. 
Welby. I'm sorry. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (begins to take off gloves) 
When we got on our ponies and began to climb this 
awful crag,- 1 said to her, " Charming, isn't it ? " on 
which she gazed at me with frosty eyes, and said, 
" Are you talking to me ? " This so exasperated me 
that I answered, " I never squander conversation. 
I was talking to my maid." 

Welby. And there it ended — what ? 
Mrs. Mulholland. Practically. I thought I 
heard her mumble " Creature ! " and I was on the 
point of a suitable response, when unfortunately my 
pony stumbled. That startled hers, it began to go 
up sideways, and we found ourselves jostling each 



50 THK DUKE OF KILLICR ANKLE. [Act II 

other. It was most painful — not being on terms to 
apologize to each other. 

Welby. 1 saw matters were strained. That's 
why I talked all the way. 

Mrs. Mulholland. {takes off veil and hat) Yes ; 
saying mawkish things about the moonlight on the 
heather, and that soon we should be as eagles nested 
together in a rocky eyrie. 

Welby. It seemed to me a descriptive thing to 
say. 

Mrs. Mluholland'. What ! " Nested together ! " 
It sounded most uncomfortable, and almost improper. 
{rises and goes to fireplace) 

Welby. 1 meant in separate nests, (rises) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Then why not say so ? 

Welby. (goes up to fireplace trying to pacify Jar) 
Because I hoped you would understand that. 

{Enter Duke r., cona.s to r. c. He and Welby 
exchange glances expressive of the awkwardness of 

the situation.) 

Duke. Well, here we are-, sale and sound. I hope 
you didn't mind the ride up, Mrs. Mulholland? 

Mrs. Mulholland. 1 enjoyed it immensely. 

Duke. That's right. And what aglorious nighl ! 
{moves to below table) 

(Welby crosses to above table.) 
As Welby said. tl Here we arc, like so many eagles 
cooped up enugly together in our eyrie." Quite a 
good way of putting it, isn't it ? 



Act II.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 51 

Mrs. Mulholland. Excellent ! So poetical. 
(moves down L. c.) 

Welby. 1 said, " in our eyries " — plural, you 
know. 

Duke. Naturally, my dear Harry. 

Mrs. Mulholland. This is the way to my rooms, 
isn't it ? (points off l.) 

(Duke crosses above her and stands by door. Welby 
goes up to window.) 

Duke. Yes. But don't think of changing, it's too 
late. We sup here, as the dining-room won't be 
ready till to-morrow. I hope you don't mind ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Not a bit ! Isn't Lady 
Henrietta going to dress ? 

Duke. She said something about a tea-gown. 

Mrs, Mulholland. Tea-gown ! I'm glad of 
that. !Ve brought Cerise's latest in tea-gowns with 
a — however, you'll see for yourselves presently. 

(Exit r.) 

(Welby comes down \\. of table and cits. Duke goes 
to fire and stands with back to it.) 

Welby. A nice business this is going to be. 

Duke. I hope so. I'm enjoying myself enor- 
mously . 

Welby. When are you going to tell Lady Hen- 
rietta that she's incarcerated ? 

Duke, Hush, my dear Harry ! (looks about 
fearfully and comes down R. of W t elby) Walls have 



52 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act II. 

ears — in Scotland especially. 1 shall tell her after 
supper. 

Welby. Ar3n't you going to break it by degrees ? 

Duke. Of course. 

Welby. How will you begin ? 

Duke. With Pommery '92 at supper. 

Welby. Have you much of it ? 

Duke. Six cases. 

Welby. Good ! 

(Enter Lady Henrietta l. in travelling dress. Welby 

rises and moves l. a little. Duke turns up to greet 

Lady Henrietta. She comes down steps and 

crosses above table to fire.) 

Lady Henrietta. Have I kept you waiting ? 

Duke. No, no ! 

Lady Henrietta. Extraordinary thing my land- 
ing here, isn't it ? 

Duke. Amazing ! 

(Welby moves towards door r., Duke intercepts him 
and leads him up stage.) 

Lady Henrietta. 1 distinctly said to the guard 
at Perth, " Put me into a carriage that goes to Glen- 
finlay." You were talking to him at the time. 

Duke. Yes. 

Lady Henrietta. You seemed to be tipping him 
as I came up. 

Duke. Was 1 ? 
(Duke pushes Welby toward Lady Henrietta, she 
turns suddenly and he recoils.) 



Act II] THE DUKE OF KILLICR ANKLE. 53 

Lady Henrietta. Ought one always to tip guards 
at junctions ? 

Welby. Always. It's the only way of arriving at 
where one wants to go to. Don't you ? 

Lady Henrietta. No. I never thought of it. 

Welby. Ah ! That accounts for your going 
wrong, (edges to r. of Duke and then (joes up to 
window) 

Lady Henrietta. Anyhow, it's no use worrying. 
Here I am. [sits on seat by fire) 

Duke. And here you stop, (moves to chair above 
table) 

Lady Henrietta. Yes, till to-morrow. 

(Duke and Welby exchange looks, indicating that 
she doesn't go " To-morrow") 

Are there many people staying with you ? 

Duke. Only Mrs. Mulholland. 

Lady Henrietta. Mrs. Mulholland is here- 
alone ? 

Duke, (moves to Lady Henrietta and speaks 
with embarrassment) The others who were coming 
have wired that they can't be here until the 1 2th. 
Awkward, isn't it ? 

Lady Henrietta. Very, (rises) Of course she 
too will leave to-morrow. 

Duke. Oh no ! She doesn't mind. Her reputa- 
tion is so robust. 

Welby. (comes down stage a little, r. c.) I beg 
your pardon, Ian. It is nothing of the sort. I mean 



54 ^THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [FctTI. 

that Amy — Mrs. Mulholland — is most rigid in matters 
of propriety. When I told her the others had 
failed us, she very nearly fainted. 

Lady Henrietta, {comes down l. and crosses 
below table to R. of it) It's a little embarrassing. 
You see, I used to know her — slightly. Her husband 
made a fortune in glue, didn't he ? (sits r of table) 

Welby. Yes. (comes down to R. of her) Whole- 
sale, of course. She has been presented. 

Lady Henrietta. Isn't it rather trying for yon 
to be here together ? 

Welby. I should think it is. It's like old times 
gone wrong. 

Lady Henrietta, (laughing) Poor Harry ! 
(turns to Duke) I think perhaps T had better be 
re-introduced to her. 

Duke. Yes. You can do that, Harry. 

Welby. I don't know how she'll take it. I hear 
her coming. Look here, as host, hadn't you better 
do it ? 

Duke. Right ! Come along, Mrs. Mulholland ! 

(Enter Mrs. Mulholland. Duke moves a little to 
l. Mrs. Mulholland comes to l. c. Lady 
Henrietta rises.) 

By the way, do you know Lady Henrietta ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. (vacantly) Lady ? 

Duke. Lady Henrietta Addison. 

Lady Henrietta. I think we used to know each 
other slightly. 



Act II] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 55 

Mrs. Mulholland. Really ? One meets so many 
people, doesn't one ? (goes up to fireplace) 

(Duke crosses to Welby up r. c. They show that 
they feel the awkwardness of the situation.) 
Lady Henrietta. Or am 1 mistaken ? 
Mrs. Mulholland. (turning to Lady Henrietta) 
I've no idea. I've such a shocking memory, (turns 
and looks into fire) 

Lady Henrietta. 1 feel sure I'm wrong, and I 
congratulate you on not being the Mrs. Mul- 
holland I remember. She was like a fly in amber. 
One wondered how she got there, {sits R. of table) 

(Welby comes down r. c. Duke crosses to Mrs. 
Mulholland above table.) 

Welby. Wonderfully tranquil night, isn't it ? 

Duke. Feeling tired ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Not a bit. It was delight- 
ful. My pony kept bumping against some one else's 
all the way. One of the maids, probably, judging 
from her seat. 

(Duke and Welby meet again up R. c.) 

Lady Henrietta. My pony, I think. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Oh no, really ! It couldn't 
have been, I assure you. If you had only reen the 
creature. 

(Enter Macbayne and Footman r. Macbayne is 
carrying stand for Butler's tray, which he places 
above door r, Footman has tray which he places 



56 THE DUKE OF KILLICRAXKIE. [Act II. 

on stand. Duke and Welby come down, Lady 
Henrietta rises. The tray contains 4 plates, 4 
entree dishes, a glass cloth, and 2 bottles of champagne . .) 
Duke. Ah ! here's supper. Will you sit there, 
Lady Henrietta ? 

(Welby places chair r. of table for her. Duke indi- 
cates chair above table l. for Mrs. Mulholland.) 

(Welby crosses below table and sits l. of it. Footman 
places chair from foot of stairs above table r. for 
Duke. There is a pause.) 

Now then ! 

(Footman places plates to Lady Henrietta, then to 
Mrs. Mulholland. then Welby and Duke. He 
then goes to tray, gets entree dish, serves Welby. 
Meanwhile Macbayne has been serving Lady Henri- 
etta, Mrs. Mulholland and Duke. They eat for 
a moment in silence.) 

Four is quite the right number for supper, isn't it ? 

Lady Henrietta. Quit?. 

Mrs. Mulholland. It all depends. Sometimes 
even four is one too many. 

Welby. As, for example, when there are only 
three cutlets, (laughs) What ? One short, you 
know. 

Lady Henrietta. No, no. Mrs. Mulholland 
means that if — for instance — I were not here, she 
could say and do things that she can't very well while 
I am. 



Act II.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 57 

Mrs. Mulholland. I'm afraid you misunder- 
stand me. I am always exactly as you see me now. 

Lady Henrietta. Oh, surely not ! I can hardly 
believe that. 

(Footman removes plates, taking first Lady Henri- 
etta's and Duke's, which he carries off R., then 
Mrs. Mulholland's and Welby's. He remains 
off. Meanwhile Macbayne has poured champagne 
to (1) Lady Henrietta, (2) Duke, (3) Mrs. Mul- 
holland, (4) Welby. He only puts a small 
quantity in Welby's glass, who holds it out to be 
refilled.) 

Welby. Have you been to the Academy ? 
Mrs. Mulholland (vehemently) No ! 
Duke. Champagne ? (to change subject) Yes. 
By the way, Lady Henrietta, when do you breakfast' ? 
Lady Henrietta. Oh, nine o'clock, I think. 
Duke. And you, Mrs. Mulholland ? 
Mrs. Mulholland. Ten. 
Duke. Harry ? 
Welby. Ten. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Then may I change to eight ? 
Duke. Of course. 

(Footman re-enters with four plates. He and Mac- 
* baynE serve second course in same manner as first.) 

Personally, in the North I'm a sort of matutinal lark, 
and breakfast at seven. So, Macbayne, there will 
be breakfast for one at seven, eight, nine, and ten. 



58 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act II. 

Macbayne. Yes, your Grace. 
Lady Henrietta. Salt, please. 

(Pause. Duke and Welby both offer salt ; she takes 
it from Duke.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Who is it that hasn't arrived ? 

Duke. Oh, you mean the vacant place ? He 
must have missed the train. His name is 

Welby. Harris. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I didn't ask you ; I wanted 
to hear what the Duke would call him. 

(Butler approaches table with champagne. Duke 
takes bottle from him and refills Mrs. Mulholland's 

glass.) 

Lady Henrietta. Coming through the woods 
to-night, the scent of the trees was delicious. I sup- 
pose it comes from the glue of the pines ? 

(Welby kicks leg of table and indicates to Ladv 
Henrietta in dumb show that glue is a sore subject 
with Mrs. Mulholland.) 

Duke. Yes. {he is now refilling Lady Henrietta's 
glass) You mean the gum — the resin. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (bridling) " Glue " I think 
was the word used. Do let us speak of it as glue. I 
don't mind in the bast, I assure you I don't. 

Lady Henrietta. I meant the resin, of course. 

Mrs. Mulholland. But please let us call it glue. 
I owe so much to glue, and one likes to be delicately 
reminded of it. (drinks) 



Act II] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 



59 



(Duke is placing bottle, which is now nearly empty, in 

c. of fable. Welby seizes it and puts the remaining 

■wine in his glass.) 

Lady Henrietta. Really, Mrs. Mulholland, I 
hadn't the faintest intention of saying anything 
mal-d-propos. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I'm sure you hadn't, Mere 
force of habit. 

(Macbayne approaches with entree dish, which he 
brings to Mrs. Mulholland.) 

Duke. You're eating nothing. Do have some 

more of this. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Thanks, no. I dined in the 

train. If possible, I shall breakfast there to-morrow. 

(Mrs. Mulholland declines offered dish, which Mac- 
bayne takes to Lady Henrietta, who also refuses.) 

Duke. Oh ! But I hope you won't dream of 
leaving us. By the way, what d'you like to do after 
supper ? I've brought a box with me that has 
almost every game in it. You play bridge, don't 
you ? (to Lady Henrietta) 

Lady Henrietta. Only with people I know well. 

Duke, (to Mrs. Mulholland) Do you ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Never with strangers. 

Duke. You do, cf course, Harry ? 

Welby. If you can get up four. 

Duke. I see. Nobody very keen, eh ? 

(Welby upsets glass of wine. Macbayne motions 



fiO THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act II. 

to Footman to wipe up ivine which has gone on floor. 
Footman does so and returns to tray.) 

Welby. Tut-tut ! I've upset my wine. Never 
mind, I'll put some salt on it. There now ! I've 
upset the salt ! So over the shoulder for luck — 
what ? (throws salt over shoulder) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Oh ! My eyes — my eyes ! 

Welby. (distressed) I beg your pardon. Allow me. 
(dusts Mrs. Mulholland with napkin) 

Mrs. Mulholland. I will not be dusted ! How 
dare you ? 

Welby. I'm sorry, really — yes— very sorry. 

Duke. Lady Henrietta, won't you have some- 
thing more ? 

Lady Henrietta. No, thank you, nothing more. 

(Macbayne removes Lady Henrietta's and Duke's 
plates, which he places on tray. Footman does 
same with Mrs. Mulholland's and Welby's. 
He then carries tray off r., Macbayne follows with 
stand.) 

Duke. Let me give you a cigarette ? 
Lady Henrietta. No, thank you. 
Duke. Mrs. Mulholland ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Please, (takes cigarette and 
lights it) 

(The Men also smoke.) 
I don't smoke as a rule. But there are times when 



Act D.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 61 

one must do precisely what others don't, if only to 
make sure of doing the correct thing. 

{During the whole supper scene there are awkward 
pauses, ominous coughs, etc., and general embarrass- 
ment.) 

Duke. Very jolly up here, isn't it ? 

All. Very. 

Lady Henrietta. Are you going to shoot on the 
12th, Ian? 

Duke. Yes, probably. 

Mrs. Mulholland. What does the word " Ian ' 
mean ? 

Duke. It's my name. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Oh, really ! i didn't know 
Christian names were bandied about in the High- 
lands. 

Duke. Henrietta and I have been boy and girl 
together. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Really ? The same age f 
How interesting ! (she rises and moves to fireplace) 

(Lady Henrietta rises and goes to window and sits ; 
as she goes up Macbayne enters and crosses above 
table and replaces Welby's chair above door l. 

Duke and Welby, who have also risen) 

Duke, (to Welby), Take her away. 

Welby. What, now? Good heavens! This is 
awful ! (drinks champagne) Couldn't you tell em 
both ? 



62 THE DUKE OF KILLTCRANKIE. [Act II. 

Duke. No. Do as I tell you. 
Welby. All right, don't rush me. 

(Duke joins Lady Henrietta at window. Welby 
goes up R. of table and above it to Mrs Mulholland 
at fire. As he does so Footman enters from r. and 
replaces Duke's chair at foot of stairs.) 

(to Mrs. Mulholland) Ian wants me to show you 
the view from the tower. 

Duke. By moonlight, you know. It's really fine. 

(Macbayne and Footman carrij table off l. Footman 
lowers curtains in doorwau l.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. I should like to see it. 
Welby. This is the way. I'll take you. 

{He crosses to r. Mrs. Mulholland follows him to 
r. o.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. You can show me where to 
<jjo and then leave me. 

Welby. Don't be hard on me. If you only knew 
— it may be the last time you'll ever listen to me. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I hope so. 

(She crosses him and exits r. He follows. Footman 
crosses r., placing Lady Henrietta's chair down 
R. facing to l. He then lowers curtain in doorwau r. 
and exits l.) 

Duke, (with a sigh of relief) Thank Heaven ! 
.(crosses to fire and stands with back to it) 

Lady Henrietta. For what ? (crosses to chair c.) 



Act II.] THE DUKE OF KILLKRANKIE. 



«3 



Duke. That she's gone. 

Lady Henrietta. She's very exhausting, isn't 
•die ? I tried to be civil to her. 
Duke, {doubtfully) Yes. It was good of you. 

Lady Henrietta. By the way, before I forget, 
what is the first train I can get for Glenfinlay to- 
morrow ? 

Duke. I shouldn't worry about that. 

Lady Henrietta. But I must know. 

Duke. No, not necessarily. 

Lady Henrietta. What do you mean ? 

Duke. It's just a little difficult to explain, but 
I'm not going to shirk it, I'm going to tell you. In 
the first place, it's a great pleasure to let you know 
that Lady Glenfinlay is as well as ever she was. 

Lady Henrietta. How do you know ? 

Duke. She was never ill. 

Lady Henrietta. What nonsense ! I got her 
telegram yesterday, {sits c.) 

Duke. I sent you that. 
Lady Henrietta. You? I don't understand. 

Duke. The fact is— it's a shocking thing to own 
up to — you've been decoyed here. 

Lady Henrietta. Ian ! 

Duke. Yes. It's perfectly true. Alarming, isn't 
it ? Decoyed here by me. 

Lady Henrietta. Ian, do be sensible, What 
are you talking about ? 

Duke. I sent the wire from Glenfinlay, and {puffs 
cigarette) here we are. 



04 THE DUKE OF K1LLICRANKIE. [Act II. 

Lady Henrietta, [rises and (joes to him) Is this 
really true, or is it your idea of a practical joke ? 

Duke. J assure you it's true. But I should never 
be so ill-mannered as to bring you here merely as a 
joke. In point of fact, I'm desperately serious. In- 
directly, I am acting on your advice. 

Lady Henrietta. In what way ? 

Duke. You told me that 1 had no strength, no 
determination of character. Persistence was one of 
the words you used. Well, I'm persisting now. 

Lady Henrietta. In what ? 

Duke. In my intention to marry you. 

Lady Henrietta. My dear Ian, if you have 
dragged me here merely to re-open a subject that you 
know very well is closed, 1 have done with you. 
(goes up steps) 

(He goes to banister to stop her.) 

And after I leave you to-morrow I shall never discuss 
it again. 

Duke. Ah, yes ! But I'm afraid you don't leave 
me to-morrow. Nor even on the next day. Here 
you remain until you see your way to marrying me. 

(She laughs scornfully, and goes to chair down R. and 
sits. 

It's an unusual course, 1 admit, but the only one that 
seemed to me to come within the scope of your advice. 

Lady Henrietta. You mean to keep me here a 
prisoner ? 

Duke. Yes. That's the idea. 



Act II.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 05 

Lady Henrietta. You forget that Mrs. Mulhol- 
land goes to-morrow. You will hardly put me to the 
indignity of staying alone with you and Mr. Welby ? 

Duke. My dear lady, I would never dream of 
such a thing, [goes back to fire) That is why Mrs. 
Mulholland will not go to-morrow. 

Lady Henrietta. Then she is your accomplice ? 

Duke. In a sense, but quite an unconscious one. 
She believes that she is on a friendly visit, (looks 
into fire) 

Lady Henrietta, (rises and goes to him) Tan, 
look me in the face and tell me one of two things. 

(He turns to her.) 

Either that this is merely a clumsy and heartless joke. 
or that it is a hideous reality. 

Duke. Then, looking into your eyes and seeing 
in them all that I long for, 

(She turns away from him.) 
I tell you that it is a reality, though not. 1 hope, a 
hideous one. 

Lady Henrietta. Very well. I go now — this 
moment, (crosses to R. c.) 

Duke. Where ? 

Lady Henrietta. Anywhere. The nearest 
cottage. 

Duke. But you can't, (sits on seat by fire) We 
are shut in for the night. There would only be a 
scene. And I can't imagine yon making a scene. 

Lady Henrietta. And why not, pray ? 

E 



lie THE DUKE OF KILLICRAXKIE. [Act IJ. 

Duke. Well — the repose of the Vere de Veres, 
and that sort of thing. 

Lady Henrietta. To-morrow, at all events, I 
shall go. 

Duke. I don't think so. I shouldn't bet on it. 

Lady Henrietta, {crossing to Duke) You don't 
\\ ally suppose that you can keep me here against my 
will ? If I choose to walk out of the castle to- 
morrow, would you put me to the humiliation of being- 
stopped by your servants V 

Duke. Not for a moment, {rises, throws away 
h ■>* ' '[, a n ite < t c i st s to u h dc w a vd opens it. He beckons 
her to follow) 

{She does so, slowly.) 

You know very well I should never take such a 
liberty. But let me show you how the land lies, 
is only one means of egress and that is by the 
great gate of the courtyard. On every other side 
there is nothing but sheer cliff. And / keep the key 
of that gate, (crosses to c.) 

Lady Henrietta. Looks out of window, and then 
to him with a laugh) Really — this is — almost 
mediaeval. And I am to stay here a prisoner, and 
i made love to day by day by you ! 

Dike. That's not quite fair. I've made mistakes 
in life ls of times ; but I've never been guilty of 

ea< h of hospitality. 

(She crosses to fire and sits ; he follows h 
I shall not intrude on you in any way ; least of all to 



Act II. J THE DUKE OF RILLICRANKIE. (57 

make love ; and you will find I've taken every possi. 
ble care to keep yon amused. I've ordered the 
hundred best books, so you will have -no need for 
either poppy or mandragora. Then there is the box 
of games. 

Lady Henrietta. To be played with you ? 
Duke. If you wish it. I want your visit to be a 
success, naturally. Then I have ordered all the lead- 
ing journals and magazines, including the Queen 
the Lady's Field The Lady, The Lady's Pictorid, 
and such other papers as convey some idea of how 
your sex should be clad. 

Lady Henrietta. We won't discuss these things, 

{rises and goes to chair c. and sits) 
Duke. Don't misunderstand me. I wasn't think- 
ing of the advertisements. A piano is coming to- 
morrow. You play extremely well, with perhaps a 
slight tendency to keep the loud pedal down from 
start to finish. I sing not badly. The evenings 
ought to pass pleasantly enough. 

Lady Henrietta, (rises and (joe. to him at first) 
Ian, it is all very well to be flippant and airy, but 
there are other things to be thought of. Surely you 
can't mean t^ keep me here by force, separated from 
my people, from — my mother. 

Duke. I wish you wouldn't put it like that. But 
it's no good. I have macadamized my heart. And I 
give you my word of honour that you will be as safe 
here as you would be in Exeter Hall. You'll find 
you'll settle down in a day or two. 



68 THE DUKE OF KTLLICRANKIE. [Act II. 

Lady Henrietta. Settle down ? To what ? 
(crosses to R. c.) Do you imagine that I will tamely 
sit down and read dull novels, play at dominoes and 
cribbage, or slave at Grieg and Tsehakwoski on the 
piano, (turns to him) With you in the background 
waiting for me to simper, " Ian, I will marry you ? " 

Duke. That is what I hope to hear. 

Lady Henrietta, (crossing to chair c.) You 
realize that the whole affair will end in a huge scan- 
dal. 

Duke. Why should it ? We're out of the world 
here. 

(She sits c, he comes to l. of her.) 

Besides, whenever you feel inclined, you can turn the 
whole imbroglio into a glorious romance. 

Lady Henrietta. How ? 

Duke. By saying, " I love you." 

Lady Henrietta. I shall never say that. 

Duke. There's no hurry. D'you know, you're 
taking things very well ? 

Lady Henrietta. What ? Because I don't shriek 
and make a scene ? 

Duke. Yes. You're wonderfully calm and reason- 
able. 

Lady Henrietta. My dear Tan, if one finds one- 
self face to face with a man who ought to be in a 
padded room, to be calm is one's only chance. 

Duke. Ah ! Don't say that. Surely to love 
you is a proof of sanity. 



Act II. ] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 69 

Lady Henrietta. It is a lucid moment, that is 
all. [rises and goes to fireplace) 

Duke, {follows) You ought to look upon the 
whole episode as a prodigious compliment. What 
other man has paid you such homage as I have in 
decoying you here ? 

{The voices of Mrs. Mulholland and Welby are 
heard without.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Never ! Never ! Never ! 
How dare you ? 

Welby. Amy ! For heaven's sake — it's not my 
doing. 

Lady Henrietta. What is that ? 

Duke. Your chaperon. 

{She rises and moves to chair at foot of stairs and sits. 
Enter Mrs. Mulholland excitedh/, followed by 
Welby r.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. What is this terrible thing 
that I am told ? Duke, I appeal to you — am I a 
prisoner or am I not ? 

Duke. In a sense, I'm afraid you are. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Then I go at once, {crosses 
down l.) If I have to walk knee-deep through 
heather, bracken and thistles in my evening shoes. 

Duke. Harry has evidently explained things to 
you ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. He has told me of the most 
preposterous outrages I ever heard of. {goes up 



7 o THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKlE. [Act II. 

r. c.) [, Amelia Mulholland, decoyed here to 
chaperon a lady whom I have never seen, or if I have 
seen, have forgotten. 

(She huihs at Lady Henrietta, who goes to window 

and looks out.) 

Do you know that 1 have an uncle on the County 
Council ? 

Duke. I didn't know it. 

Mrs. Mulholland. What have 1 done that I 
should be lured into a trap of this sort ? 

Welby. Exactly. That's what 1 want to know. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Then 1 promise you you'll 
know before very long. I met one of the highest 
officials on the Metropolitan Police a few weeks ago 
at lunch at the Trocadero, and 1 mean to send a wire 
at once to the Chief Constable, Scotland Yard. 
1 will not be incarcerated, even by a Duke. 1 am a 
widow and this is a free country, {goes to fireplace) 

(Duke motions Welby to go after her, he does so.) 

Lady Henrietta. I think, Ian, if you will show 
us the consideration of leaving us — 

Duke. Of course. I want you to feel absolutely 
at home here. I'm sure, Mrs. Mulholland, my action 
seems to you unwarrantable and incomprehensible, 
but I hope in a day or two we shall settle down into 
the most harmonious of quartettes. 
[He bows formally to Lady Henrietta and Mrs. 



Act TI.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 71 

Mulholland and exit very slowly with his hands 
clasped behind his back.) 

(Lady Henrietta then comes down r. and lifts curtain 
to look after him. Welby comes down c. Mrs, 
Mulholland down l. c, Lady Henrietta crosses 

c. above them.) 

Lady Henrietta. Now, let us lay our heads to- 
gether. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (to Welby) First of all, 

(She moves towards Welby, who retreats r. a little. 
Lady Henrietta goes to fire and sits.) 

I insist upon knowing why you allowed us to be 
trapped like this ? Why didn't you warn us ? 

Welby. I didn't dare— I'm in the same boat as 
you are. All I say is— don't upset it. 

Mrs. YFulholland. And this is the man who says 
he loves me. I wish I could find the word that fitly 
describes you. The nearest I can get is u catspaw." 

Welby. Amy ! 

Mrs. Mulholland. Hush ! 

(Welby goes up a, Lady Henrietta rises and comes 
l. c. to Mrs. Mulholland, who is c.) 

Lady Henrietta. [ think we oughtn't to lose 
time. Something must be done. I'm so sorry we 
had little differences at supper, but I do think they 
ought to be set aside under the circumstances. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I quite agree. I confess I 



72 THE Dl T KE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act II. 

was a little hurt when you and your mother cut me 
dead that night in town. 

(Welby comes down between them.) 

Welby. Yes, quite so. 

Mrs. Mulholland. This is a private matter, Mr. 
Welby. 

Welby. My mistake ! (goes up to window) 

Lady Henrietta. Of course. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I was perfectly horrid at 
supper. 

Lady Henrietta. So was J. 

Mrs. Mulholland. It's very comforting to hear 
that. You know, I've been on the point of tears all 
the evening. 

(Welby co))ies down c.) 

1 felt instinctively that something was going to happen 
direc\, A y I saw that creature (indicating Welby) 
smiling vacantly on the platform at Perth. 

(Lady Henrietta crosses l., Mrs. Mulholland 
turns uf a little, Welby comes down.) 

Welby. I haven't smiled since — since the day 
you threw me over. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Oh, you smiled then, did 
you? 

Welby. Well, it wasn't a pleasant smile to see. 

Lady Henrietta, (to Welby) You'll help us, 
won't you ? 

Welby. (crosses r., lifts curtain, looks out and 



Act II.] THE DUKE OF KILLTCRANKIE. 73 

comes back to c.) If you promise not to tell Tan, I'll 
do what I can. 

Lady Henrietta. We won't betray you — I pro- 
mise you. 

Mrs. Mulholland. " His honour rooted in dis- 
honour stood." 

Welby. I beg your pardon ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. The late Lord Tennyson. 

{A long pause while they all try to think of a plan of 
escape. After pause, Mrs. Mulholland crotscs 
below Welby to Lady Henrietta, who is l.) 

The only suggestion that I can make is that one of us 
must escape, and alarm the Government or whoever's 
responsible. 

Lady Henrietta. Which of us ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Mr. Welby, of course, with a 
rope. 

Welby. I hardly think that's practicable. 

Lady Henrietta. We could hold it over a win- 
dow and you could slip down. 

Welby. Slip ! That's just what would happen. 
Besides, there isn't a rope in the place. 

Mrs. Mulholland. How do you know ? 

Welby. Instinctively ! 

Mrs. Mulholland. Nonsense ! 

(Mrs. Mulholland sits c. Another pause, Lady 
Henrietta walks slowly down l. and turns back, when 
she gets up to Mrs. Mulholland, Mrs. Mulholland 
speaks.) 



74 THE DUKE OF KILL1CRANKIE. [Act II . 

Wait a moment ! Not more than thirty feet below 
my window is the top of an immensely high pine tree. 
(turning to Welby, who is c.) Now, if yon could leap 
on to that, and climb down — but no, 1 forgot — the 
room is mine. 

Lady Henrietta. But while he is doing it, you 
could be with me. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes, of course 1 could. 
Very well, we'll try that, (rises) 

Welby. I hardly think I have the physique for a 
feat of that sort. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (moving to Welby who 
crosses below her to l. c.) Do you mean that you're 
afraid ? 

Welby. Yes, 1 do. 

Mrs. Mulholland. What is the word that 
exactly describes you that 1 cannot remember ? 

Welby. I should think it must be " acrobat " 

Lady Henrietta. You know, 1 do think it would 
be difficult to catch the top of a pine tree at the rate 
he would be going. The leap would be easy enough. 

Welby. There's no difficulty about the actual 
leap. There's almost nothing I couldn't leap off. 
The thing is, where should I land ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Your head would offer the 
greatest resistance. 

Lady Henrietta. Hush ! Not so loud ! He 
may hear. 

(Welby sits c. Mrs. Mulholland and Lady Henri- 



Act H.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 75 

etta bring chairs from R. and l. respectively, and 
sit on each side of Welby.) 

Welby. (in a loud whisper) By the laws of 
gravity, when I have fallen thirty feet, I should be 
travelling through the air at the rate of sixty feet a 
second. That would only allow of one-sixtieth of a 
second in which to clutch the top of the tree, assum- 
ing that 1 had been sufficiently lucky to travel in its 
direction. 

Lady Henrietta. Yes ! I'm afraid we must think 
of something else. 

[They all rise. Mrs. Mulholland and Lady Henri- 
etta replace chairs. Welby (joes up c. Lady 
Henrietta crosses below him to window and looks 
out. Mrs. Mulholland then goes up r. c. between 
them.) 

Ah ! Couldn't we secretly during the daytime to- 
morrow tear up our blankets into strips and join them? 
Then at night, with one end firmly secured round # 
your waist, we would lower you as far as we possibly 
could. 

Welby. And then ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Let go, of course. 

Welby. What ! In mid air ? We can't have 
enough blankets to go round — 1 mean to go down. 

(They move down stage together. Lady Henrietta 
crosses above them to fireplace.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Firemen do that sort of thing 



76 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act II. 

constantly. Why, the day after we were engaged, 
you took me to see the Fire Brigade rescuing people 
at the Exhibition at Earl's Court. And when T said, 
" How brave they are," you whispered, " Don't 1 
wish I had the chance of rescuing you ! " Perhaps 
you've forgotten that ? 

We lbv. No. T remember perfectly well. But 
we were engaged then. We're not now. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I believe you are simply 
listening to our plans in order to repeat everything 
we have said to the Duke. 

(Lady Henrietta comes to l. of Welby and touches 

fiis arm.) 

Welby. No, no, upon my honour. Besides, the 
only plans you have suggested appear to me to be 
attempts on my life. 

(Mrs. Mulholland sits r. c. Welby goes up to 
newel post and Jeans his elbow on it. Lady Henri- 
etta goes back to fire, and sits. There is anothi r 
long pause.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Hush ! 
Lady Henrietta. Ah ! 

(Lady Henrietta speaks very sharply. Welby is 
startled, his elbow slips off newel post.) 

{rises) Suppose 1 to-morrow we fill up stamped tele- 
grams, attach stones to them and throw them over 
the gate, some one — possibly a tradesman or post- 
man — would be sine to find them, {mores down L.) 



Act II. ] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 77 

Welby. (down c.) A very good idea. 

Mrs. Mulholland. You think so, because it 
involves no bodily risk to yourself. What sort of a 
knight-errant would you have been in mediaeval 
days ? 

Welby. I've no idea. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Can you picture yourself 
tilting at a tourney ? 

Welby. Not very clearly. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I can. And I see you insen- 
sible on the turf at the first onslaught. 

Welby. Possibly. That at least would be peace 
— with honour. But, look here, I've got an idea. 

Mrs. Mulholland. At last ! 

Lady Henrietta. Nonsense ! 

Welby. It's my turn, (to Lady Henrietta) 
Why shouldn't you appear to accept the inevitable 
and agree — as a temporary measure — to marry 
him ? 

Lady Henrietta. Why ? Because 1 should 
feel that my promise was binding, (turns to Welby) 

(Mrs. Mulholland rises-.) 

Welby. But you needn't. The law holds that a 
promise extracted by threat or violence is not binding. 
I know that, I was very nearly called to the Bar. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Very nearly called ? What 
do you mean ? 

Welby. That 1 just missed passing. And that 
is a point of law 1 particularly remember. 



78 THE DUKE OF KILLTCRANKIE. [Act II. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (to Lady Henrietta) You 
know, it's not a bad idea, (crosses above Welby to 
chair l., sits) 

Lady Henrietta. But it would be so embarrass- 
ing, (moving to Welby) You mean that I should 
actually become engaged to him ? 

Welby. Merely as a strategic manoeuvre. 

(Lady Henrietta crosses him to r. c.) 

It can be broken off. Who knows that so well as I ? 

(He looks at Mrs. Mulholland, who shrugs her 
shoulders.) 

Lady Henrietta. But supposing I did what you 
suggest, don't you see — it's very difficult to express, 
but he might want to — well, you must know, you've 
both been engaged. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I have entirely forgotten 
what happened. I decline to remember. 

Welby. We— er— kissed each other. 

(Mrs. Mulholland expresses disgust.) 

Lady Henrietta. Exactly. That is my diffi- 
culty. What am I to do if he expects that ? 

Welby. It is over in a moment. 

Lady Henrietta. That is not the point, unfor- 
tunately. As a mere physical effort, I believe I could 
do it. But it is the symbolism, the complete surren- 
der it implies, (sits R, c.) 

Welby. Symbolism — surrender — there can't be 
time for all that in a mere kiss. 



Act II.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 79 

Mrs. Mulholland. No. (rises and crosses to 
Welby) Your lasses never had any symbolism. 
They were most commonplace. 

(Welby goes uf and crosses to fire.) 

(goes to Lady Henrietta) I quite sympathize with 
what you feel, my dear — you don't mind my saying 
" dear," do you ? 

Lady Henrietta. Not a bit. 
Mrs. Mulholland. It slipped out. The first 
kiss is, of course, a very grave undertaking, and the 
pleasure it gives is out of all proportion to what may 
happen afterwards, {looks at Welby) If he sug- 
gests such a thing, look at him with a carefully con- 
sidered expression of surprise, and say, " not to-night, 
dear." 

Lady Henrietta. Yes, I might do that. I sup- 
pose other women have said that sort of thing ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. {turning to c.) In point of 
fact, Mr. Welby, when we became engaged, you didn't 
attempt to kiss me. 

Welby. How could 1 ? (comes down l. c.) I 
proposed to you at the Queen's Hall during the 
Trauermarsch in " Gotterdammerung." I was car- 
ried away by the music. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I remember I could scarcely 
hear von for the trumpets. 

Welby. And 1 thought I was happy. 
Mrs. Mulholland. So you were. 
Welby. Was 1 V 



80 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. }Act II. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Of course, (turns back to 
Lady Henrietta) 

Welby. Well — perhaps. 

Lady Henrietta. There seems almost no alter- 
native to what you suggest. I dare say I shall be 
able to carry it through. Then we could all get away 
to-morrow morning. 

(Mrs. Mulholland goes to window.) 

Welby. (crosses to Lady Henrietta) Exactly. 
Well now, why not get it over at once. 

Lady Henrietta. Yes — I may as well. You go 
and tell Ian that I want to see him. 

Welby. (crosses r. below her and turns to speak) 
And don't be afraid of a mere kiss. Thousands are 
exchanged daily between people of the highest 
reputation. 

(Exit r.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. I'm so sorry for you, dear. 
(comes down c.) 

Lady Henrietta, (rises and crosses l.) it's 
i errible, isn't it ? Ian must be mad. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Of course he is, hut he evi- 
dently loves you. How it would simplify matters if 
you could really love him. Then we should all be at 
rest. 

Lady Henrietta. Oh, I've tried — indeed, I've 
tried, [sits L.) I don't believe (beginning to cry) 
that 1 shall ever care for any one. 



Act II]. THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 81 

Mrs. Mulholland. No more do !. (also begin- 
ning to cry) I mean any one else. 

Lady Henrietta. It's all very, very, painful . 
Listen ! (rises) He's coming. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Then Til go. (crosses l. 
below Lady Henrietta) 

Lady Henrietta, (detaining her) You'll be 
close at hand, won't you ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes, of course. Listening 
probably. Do you mind ? 

Lady Henrietta. No, I'd rather you listened. 

Mrs. Mulholland. You might want me as a 
witness. I'll say whatever you wish me to. 

(Exit l.) 

(Lady Henrietta goes up to window. Enter Duke 
r., he comes to c.) 

Duke. Well, is the council of war over ? 

Lady Henrietta. Yes. 

Duke. And what is the result ? 

Lady Henrietta. We are willing to capitulate. 
(comes down to chair r. c.) 

Duke. Capitulate ? How ? 

Lady Henrietta. Ian, 1 will marry you. 

Duke. What ? 

Lady Henrietta. I will marry you. 

Duke. This is very sudden. Very delightful, but 
very sudden. 

Lady Henrietta. It is — a little. 

F 



S2 THE DUKE OK KILLICRANKIE Act II. 

Duke. I don't think I quite like it. 

Lady Henrietta. I am sorry to bear that. 

Duke, [t's so unexpected. Does it mean — no, 
it couldn't mean that. 

Lad y H e n R i ETTA. Mean what ? 

Duke. Thai your eyes have been opened at last, 
and you realize that I am worth loving? 

Lady Henrietta. I am ready to consider myself 
engaged to you. 

Duke. Is this your own idea ? 

Lady Henrietta. Not quite. Mr. Welbv ha 
been pointing out to me the advantage of marrying 
you, and I begin to see that he is right. 

Duke. I see. in fact, you're acting vicariously. 
You are merely Mr. Welby's medium. So you're 
ready to marry me without any feeling of love — in 
your beart. 

Lady Henrietta. That wasn't part of the bar- 
gain. You said that here I was to remain until I 
consented to marry you. Well, I consent. 

(She crosses l. below him — he follows her to L. C.) 

Duke. 1 want something more than that. It's 
all 30 volcanic. It disorganizes my plan of action 
I was going to teach you to love me, gently, but 
firmly. 

Lady Henrietta. 1 am saving you that trouble. 

Duke. But why? Why this sudden change of 
front ? I don't want you to come to me as a martyr. 
Do you think I am a brute of that sort ? 



Act II.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 83 

Lady Henrietta. Are we engaged, or are we 
not ? 

Duke. Not yet. Not to-night. We haven't 
settled down yet. 

Lady Henrietta. I ask you — are we engaged, 
or are we not ? It's ridiculous that I should have 
to ask you such a question, but I must know. 

Duke. Then I think 1 had better say '' no." 
(sits l. c. facing fire). 

Lady Henrietta. I think it's shameful of you. 
I yield to you, and in return you humiliate me beyond 
endurance, {goes up l. to balustrade, leans on it) 

Duke. I'm sorry. 

Lady Henrietta. Oh, it's scandalous, (turns 

o him) Now what am I to tell the others ? They 

know that I have agreed to marry you. We thought 

i t out together. What am I to tell them ? That 

you refuse ? 

Duke. It is awkward, isn't it ? 

{She sits at fireplace, he pauses, ilien vises and goes to 
her.) 

Oh, very well, then, it's getting late and 1 see you're 
tired. Let us consider ourselves engaged. 

Lady Henrietta. Thank you, Ian. 

Duke. You are happy now ? 

Lady Henrietta. I am relieved. 

Duke. Then I suppose we ought to ratify the 
bargain with— {he takes her hand and tries to kiss 
her) 



84 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act TI. 

Lady Henrietta, (rises and runs to R. of chair 
l. c.) Ian — not to-night, please. 

Duke, {comes to l. of chair) But really, 1 think 
9 it's almost necessary. 

Lady Henrietta. Oh, surety not. After such a 
fatiguing evening, and the long railway journey. 

Duke. It's very unusual not to. (rests one knee 
on chair, his hands on bach of it) I doubt if an engage- 
ment holds good without it. 

Lady Henrietta. Then if it -must be, let us get 
it over. 

Duke. 1 think so. We shall both feel relieved. 

(The Duke slowly and formally kisses her cheek. 
Lady Henrietta starts from him, looks at him for 
a moment with agitation, then moves R. as if 
embarrassed.) 

Lady Henrietta. By the way, touching to- 
morrow ? What train can I get for London ? 

Duke. Oh ! You're going to London ? 

Lady Henrietta. Of course. Being engaged, I 
presume I am no longer a prisoner. I must get a 
trousseau. 

Duke. 1 see. I never thought of that. But 
what guarantee have 1 that you mean to keep your 
promise ? 

Lady Henrietta. None, (moving to him) You 
must be like Montrose : "He either fears his fate too 
much, or his deserts are small. Who dares not put 
it to the touch, or gain or lose it all." 



Act II.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 85 

Duke. I think there's a way of solving the 
problem. 

Lady Henrietta. Is there ? Very likely. Any- 
how, we're engaged. Good-night, (goes up steps) 

Duke, (moving down c. facing up to her) One 
moment. Let us tell the others. 

Lady Henrietta. They know already. 

Duke. Do they ? 

Lady Henrietta. They thought it out, not I. 

Duke. Still, I think we ought to tell them, {call- 
ing) Harry ! Mrs. Mulholland ! 

Voice. Coming — yes ! 

(Welby answers as if from a distance. Mrs. Mul- 
holland appears loudly very near curtain. Lady 
Henrietta comes down from steps, crosses to fire 
and sits. Duke follows). 

Duke. You're not unhappy, are you — dear ? 
Lady Henrietta. I'm a little tired — dear. 

(Enter Mrs. Mulholland and Welby. Mrs. Mul- 
holland goes to l. c, l. of Duke.) 

Welby. You want us V 
Duke. Just for a moment. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Are we to congratulate you ? 
Duke. Presently. I want you as witnesses. 
Lady Henrietta. Witnesses — to what ? (rises) 
Duke. To our marriage. We're in Scotland. 
Lady Henrietta. Marriage ! Now — this 

moment ? 
Duke. Merely as a matter of form. We can be 



86 THE DUKE OF KILLlCRANKIE [Act II. 

married later with the orthodox flourish of trumpets 
at St. George's, Hanover Square. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Duke, I must really ask you 
to Ik 1 reasonable. 1 uever heard of a marriage at 
midnight. It couldn't be binding. No white veil, 
no bridesmaids, nothing. It's impossible. We're 
in tea-gowns, {crosses down L.) 

Lady Henrietta, (crosses to l. c.) One moment. 
Don't let us have a scene. What is the form ? 

Duke. Of marriage ? 

Lady Henrietta. Yes. 

Mrs. Mulholland. {comes up i>> Lady Henri- 
etta) Dearest, what has conic over you ? No one 
in your set is ever married except by a bishop. 

Lady Henrietta. 1 know what I'm doing. 

(Mrs. Mulholland down l. again.) 

Tell me the form of marriage. 

Dukk. I shall say, " I, Ian Macbayne, take you, 
Henrietta Addison, as my wife." 

Lady Henrietta. And 1 ? 

DUKE. wC I, Henrietta Addison, take you, Ian 
Macbayne, as my husband." 

Lady Henrietta. Very well : go on. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Good heavens! (goes up to 
Lady Henrietta) Think what you're doing. Oh. 
what a barbarous country to live in ! (goes to fire) 

WELBY. It must be clearly understood that 1 don't 
countenance this. I am here because I can't get 
away, but I am not present otherwise. 



Act IL] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 87 

Duke. Exactl} T ; you are nobody. 

Welby. Nobody ! What I say is this — you may 
marry like this if you please, but I, for one. will not 
consider it binding, (goes up c.) 

Lady Henrietta. In the meantime 1 am waiting. 

Mrs. Mulholland. If you're really bent on it. 
at least let us do what we can to make things seemly. 
(takes up a bunch of heather which is on small table l., 
puts it in Lady Henrietta's hand, and stands down 
L., back to audience) There, you must have flowers of 
some sort. 

Duke. Are you ready ? 

Lady Henrietta. Quite. 

Duke. Then 1 take your hand — T, Ian Macbayne, 
take you, Henrietta Addison, as my wife. 

(Warns curtain) 

Welby. {corrns down between thou with Jmnd 
upraised). Stop ! For Heaven's sake. 

Duke, (angrily) Is this your marriage or mine ? 
(goes up to foot of stairs) 

Lady Henrietta. And 1, Henrietta Addison 
take you, Ian Macbayne, as my husband — under no 
consideration whatever. Good-night, (she goes up 
stairs, throwing away heath as she goes) 

(The three stand watching her, their backs to the foot- 
lights.) 

Let oils of your turnkeys bring me coffee at seven. 
Duke, (moves down r.) Well, I'm - 



88 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. Act II. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (turns to him) Yes, so am I. 
(Welby comes down c. between them.) 

Duke, (moving up to him) Confound you ! This 
is your doing. 

Welby. What ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. (coming close to Welby) A 
nice muddle you've got us into. 

Welby. What ? 

Duke. What the devil d'you mean by saying you 
wouldn't recognize the marriage ? 

Welby. What ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. What business was it of 
yours, I should like to know. 

Welby. What ? 

Duke. It was you who put her off, you ponderous 
ass. 

Welby. Was it? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Of course it was, and thanks 
to you the whole thing's failed. 

Welby. Look here, 1 can stand a good deal, 
because I generally have a good deal to stand 

Duke. I might have known that to embark on 
this affair with such a ponderous owl as yourself to 
help me could only end in a hopeless muddle. Why in 
Heaven's name did you want to talk at all ? — etc. 

Welby. But if you think you are going to ride 
rough-shod over one who, as a Member of Parliament, 
has a position to keep up, apart from self-respect, fair 
play and social standing — etc. 



Act II. 1 THE DUKE OF K1LL1CRANKIE. 



89 



Mrs. Mulholland. What business had you to 
interfere at all ? It wasn't your marriage, nobody 
asked your consent. Who on earth would dream of 
consulting you about anything ? And here we are , 

prisoners again, thanks to you putting your oar in 

etc. 

{These last three speeches spoken together.) 



CURTAIN. 



ACT III. 

Scene. — The courtyard of C 'rag -o' -North. On the 
L. walls of a turreted old house rise up to the flies 
from a rugged base of rock. Round the windows and 
eaves climb ivy and Virginian creeper, l. a Gothic 
doorway gives access from, the house to the stage. 
Above it a projecting balcony in front of windows. 
On the r. the rock rises, and through it is cut a gate- 
way with heavy gates of wrought iron. From this 
gateway on the r. to the house l., rises a parapet of 
rough stones, here and there overgrown with ivy. 
The back cloth represents a distant view of heather, 
moor and mountain peak. r. an old well. 

It is 5 p.m. 

(As the curtain rises Lady Henrietta is seen sitting 
on the parapet, looking out to the moorland. Mrs . 
Mulholland is carrying a raised parasol, she crosses 
R., rattles gate, comes down R. to below well, sits 
and closes parasol before Lady Henrietta speaks. 
They both wear smart summer frocks.) 

Lady Henrietta. The changing colours of the 
heather are wonderful — never the same. As the sun 



92 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act III. 

falls they change from mauve to rose — from rose to 
purple. The peaks and valleys are a land of dreams. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Are they ? 

Lady Henrietta. Yes. Don't you feel it. Don't 
you fesl a thrill at these soft grey distances that seem 
to be the threshold of some happy land of the future ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. I want to go to London 
(rises and crosses up L.C., opening parasol) 

Lady Henrietta. Yes, I suppose I want that, 
too. 

Mrs. Mulholland. We've been imprisoned a 
week now. A week is a great deal at my age. I'm 
getting very near the prime of life. 

Lady Henrietta. Haven't you reached it yet? 
(rises) 

Mrs. Mulholland. No. The prime of life is five 
years ahead of whatever you are. But 1 thought you 
hated everything about the place. 

Lady Henrietta. I did at first, (moves down to 
l. of well) 

Mrs. Mulholland. You know I always suspect 
people when they find the world is growing beautiful. 

(Lady Henrietta stoops down, picks daisy /tlr'ch is 
growing beside well, she crosses r., below well, pulling 
petals of daisy off. Mrs. Mulholland moves to l. 
of well.) 

For instance, the day I became engaged to Mi'. Welby, 
we happened to pass the Albert Memorial, and, for a 



Ao T III.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 93 

moment, it seemed to me quite attractive in a barbaric 
way. How do you account for that ? 
Lady Henrietta. 1 can't. 

Mrs. Mulholland. And yet it is simple enough. 
For some reason that I shall never understand, I 
loved the creature. So everything that day was a 
golden minaret in an enchanted city. Now, in your 

case -(sits on well) 

Lady Henrietta, (sits on grass below well) Oh, 
it doesn't matter about my case. I'm trying to make 
the best of things, that's all ; and I confess I never 
dreamt the time here would pass so pleasantly. 

Mrs. Mulholland. They've both behaved ex- 
tremely well, 1 admit. 

Lady Henrietta. Yes, haven't they ? The day 
we made a pretence of being ill, could anything have 
exceeded Ian's kindness ? 1 hated myself for the 
deceit of it. Do you know that he sat up all night 
in case 1 wanted anything ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. So did Mr. Welby. He sat 
up — in a sense. But looking cautiously over the 
balustrade, 1 saw the creature asleep in a chair in the 
hall. Yet he says he suffers from insomnia. He 
doesn't look well asleep. Do you think he has an 
interesting face ? 

Lady Henrietta. I'm not quite sure. 
Mrs. Mulholland. Nor am I. He's disappoint- 
ing. He looks profound until he begins to speak. 
But there's something about hini that overwhelms 
me. Why — Heaven only knows. 



94 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act III. 

Lady Henrietta. Yes, Heaven knows so many 
things that we don't. Do you consider Ian good 
looking ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Extremely. 
Lady Henrietta. So do I. It never struck me 
before — but I see it now. And he's wonderfully 
unselfish, isn't he ? 
Mrs. Mulholland. I'm not so sure. 
Lady Henrietta. I mean — granting, of course, 
that he had no right to decoy us here— he has done 
everything possible to make us happy — and I'm 
afraid he's succeeded. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes. As far as kidnapping 
can be made easy to the victims he has certainly done 
it. The week has passed quite agreeably. 

Lady Henrietta, (rises and crosses up l. c.) 
It's rather a bore that we can't let them see how 
grateful we are. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes. One hates stifling 
emotion. 

Lady Henrietta. Don't you feel an atmosphere 
of enchantment about the place ? I do, I find myself 
day-dreaming, imagining strange romances under 
these old walls, (conies to c.) Last night, searching 
for a book, I came into the hall, there was only a 
faint rosy light from the fire, and in a brown study my 
eyes fell on the man in armour in the corner. For a 
moment 1 thought I saw lan's face under the helmet — 
I gave a cry and called out " Ian " — imagine my 
embarrassment when I heard his voice and saw him 
step from behind the armour. 



Act III.] THE DUKE OF KlLLLCRANKlE. 95 

Mrs. Mulholland. What did he say ? 
Lady Henrietta. He asked me why I was 
blushing. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Were you? 

Lady Henrietta. No. It was the light from the 
fire, 

Mrs. Mulholland. (suddenly rising) Henrietta ! 

Lady Henrietta. What is it ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Why — don't you see — I do, 
in a flash — you are in love with him. 

Lady Henrietta. No, no, no. I'm not. 

Mrs. Mulholland. My dear, it's come to you at 
Last. 

Lady Henrietta. No, no — you're wrong — I tell 
you. (goes up c. back to audience) 

(Mrs. Mulholland goes to her and touches her on 
shoulder.) 

How can I love him if I don't want to ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. But you can't help it. That's 
the whole tragedy of love. Do you suppose I wanted 
to love Henry Welby ? 

Lady Henrietta. Do you suppose I want to love 
Ian ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. You may not want to, but 
you do. 

Lady Henrietta, [turning to Mrs. Mulholland) 
How dare you say that ? I hate him ! 

(Mrs. Mulholland laughs.) 
What right has he to keep us here in prison ? 



96 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act III. 

Mrs. Mulholland. None, of course ; but he 
evidently knows what he's about. 

Lady Henrietta. So long as I am a prisoner, 
sooner than admit that I love him 

Mrs. Mulholland. Ah ! 

Lady Henrietta. Even if I did, which 1 don't — 
I'd die Love him ! {crosses down r.) Why, haven't 
you seen that for the last week I've tried to hurt his 
feelings in every conceivable way. And when I 
really pained him, it has filled me with joy. (cross- 
ing to c, facing l.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. (goes to her and puts her hand 
on her shoulders caressingly) That's a very common 
phase of love. 1 know it well. You ask Mr. Welby. 
Oh! do love him! Then we can all go to London. 

[An old bell is rait'/ at the gate.) 

Lady Henrietta. What's that ? 
Mrs. Mulholland. (moving to r.) Fve no idea. 
FH see. It's the postman. 

(Lady Henrietta joins her up r. c.) 

Thank Heaven, we shall get the London papers. 

(Macbayne enters l. from house, crosses to gate and 
opens it with key. He carefully re-locks gate, then 

Mrs. Mulholland speaks) 
I wonder if our story has got into the Press. 

Lady Henrietta. 1 shouldn't think so. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I'm not so sure. The morn- 
ing after that terrible scene, when the Duke tried to 



Act III. THE DUKE OF KILLICIMNKIE. f>7 

force you to marry hirn, Mr. Welby and I wrote out 
long statements of the whole case and threw them, with 
the money enclosed, on to the roadway below the 
cliff. We addressed one to the Home Secretary, one 
to the Scotsman, one to the Timet, and one to my 
solicitor. 

Lady Henrietta. I wish you hadn't. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Why ? 

Lady Henrietta. When it all comes out, imagine 
the scandal. 

(Enter Macbayne, leading in a Postman.) 

Macbayne. Just come in here, (locks gate) 
Postman. His Grace must sign for the registered 

letter, (gives parcel to Macbayne and moves down r.) 
Macbayne. I'll see to that. You wait where ye 

are. 

(Exit l. with a number of letters, papers, etc.) 

Lady Henrietta. Dare I trust the postman with 
a letter to my mother ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. He has probably "orders not to 
take any letters. 

Postman, (moves below well to c. a little when Mac- 
bayne is out of sight) Ladies ! 

Mrs. Mulholland. Well ? 

Postman. I take it I am addressing Lady Henri- 
etta Addison and Mrs. Mulholland ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes. 

(They move to l. c.) 



98 THE DUKE OF KlLLICRANKlE. [Act III. 

Postman. Then don't be alarmed, (comes up 
C, :'. of them) But— I am no postman. Tin* is a 
disguise. I bribed the real man to let me cany the 
letters to-day. I am a special correspondent of the 
Daily Post. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Then you are a gentleman? 

Hicks. Yes. 

(Lady Henrietta moves to l. a little. Mrs. Mul- 
holland to it. He comes c. between than.) 

My name is Ambrose Hicks. 

Mrs. Mulholland. And you wish to help us? 

Hicks. Yes. One of your letters reached its 
destination. The London press is full of your case — 
you are famous. 

Lady Henrietta. Infamous, you mean. 

Hicks. That is a matter for your conscience to 
decide. But your portraits appeared in yesterday's 
issue See. here they are. (giving them news- 
paper) 

(Lady Henrietta takes paper and crosses to him. she 
and Mrs. Mulholland go down R. Mrs. Mul- 
holland sits on well. Lady Henrietta stands 
beside her looking <it paper.) 

Now, what I want is a short interview and a snapshot. 
I have a camera with me. 

(He produces camera, and opens it. Lady Henrietta 

puts it p arm to shield her jacc. Mrs. MULHOLLAND 
raises parasol.) 



ActIIL] THE DUKE OF KILLICBANKiE. 99 

Lady Henrietta. 1 absolutely decline. 

( He doses camera. Mrs. Mulholland lowers parasol. 

I will not be dragged through the pages of a cheap 
London paper. 
Hicks, (indignantly) It is a halfpenny paper, 

madam, but 1 deny that it is cheap. 

(He moves down l. Mrs. Mulholland rises and 
crosses c. Lady Henrietta is on her r.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. (who has been reading paper 
eatferly) Bu1 this is all wrong. It's terrible ! Lis- 
ten ! (Reading) " Nor is tin 1 romance of the Duke 
and the abducted daughter of an earl the only love 
drama now being enacted at (Yag-o'-North. It 
seems that Mrs. Mulholland, widow of the late ' Glue 
King/ having been deserted by her jinnee, a well 
known Member of Parliament, has run him to earth 
in the ancient stronghold. The repeated attempts of 
the unfortunate gentleman to scape have so far 
proved unsuccessful." 

(Lady Henrietta takes paper, goes to well and sits m 
Mrs. Mulholland goes up r. c.) 

(breaking down) Oh ! Oh ! It's too cruel. 

Hicks. Is the article inaccurate ? (moves to a). 

Mrs Mulholland. Inaccurate? (comes down 
R. C.) ft is he — not 1 — that has run me, not him, to 
earth. 

Hicks. I'm sorry. But don't he distressed at a 



100 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKlE. [Act III. 

mere journalistic error. Remember that the para- 
graph to-day wraps up the parcel of to-morrow. 

Mrs. Mulholland. The whole story, as given 
here, is a tissue of misrepresentation. 

Hicks. Then I feel for you very deeply But 
errors will occur and, at least, you will find solace in 
the literary charm of the article. I know the author. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Who is he ? 

Hicks. I'm not at liberty to tell you. Our 
anonymity is almost as sacred to us as our salaries. 
Besides, sign an article and its weight is gone. 

(Lady Henrietta (joes up r. of well, to writing fad 
on parapet and writes note, having left paper on well.) 

But he is a man who can clothe a bare fact with such 
wealth of imaginative detail 

Mrs. Mulholland. Padding, you mean. 

Hicks, {bowing) Embellishment. 

Mrs. Mulholland. The same thing, and I 
decline to have my life padded with either literary 
charm or imaginative detail — it's quite full enough as 
it is. If you knew the difficulty of a widow in main- 
taining a reputation, and at the same time enjoying 
the fleeting hours, you\l understand, {moves to 
well and points to paper) This article will ruin the 
work of years. Oh, why cannot a newspaper stick 
to the simple truth ? (sits on well) 

Hicks. The times are not ripe for that. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Why cannot it confine itself 
to bare facts ? 



Act III] THE DUKE OF KTLLICRANKIE 101 

Hicks. The public is so sensitive that a bare fact 
almost excites a national blush. 

Lady Henrietta, (who has been ivritinga note 
in pencil, comes down l. c.) Hush ! I think I 1 ear 
their voices. We mustn't be seen talking to you. 
Go over there, but take this and post it to my mother. 
YouTl see the address — 210, Grosvenor Square. 
There's half a crown, ("puts com in his hand and 
turns away to l.) 

Hicks. Forgive me, 1 cannot take money. The 
postage is one penny. 

Lady Henrietta. Then owe me two and five- 
pence. 

Hicks. I prefer to pay myself, for the stamp. 
(goes to her and returns coin) It is nothing ; a line of 
my next article will reimburse me. 

Lady Henrietta. I will not forget the service. 

Hicks raises his hat and crosses u. above well.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Tell me, dear, if they come > 
what are we to say to them ? 

Lady Henrietta. Nothing. Let us keep a cold, 
dignified silence. It's not such a strain on the mind as 
framing suitable abuse. 

Mrs. Mulholland. But it is hard to repress in- 
dignation. The merest glimpse of Mr. Welby is a 
red rag to me. 

Lady Henrietta. Try not to give way to it. 
(crosses to Mrs. Mulholland, wko is seated on well) 



102 THE DIKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act III. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I'll try, but be prepared Lor 
failure. 

(Welby is heard off, singing.) 

Lady Henrietta. Hush ! Here they are. 

(Welby appears in doorway L.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. (in a whisper) Look at him ! 
You'd think butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. 

(She crosses l. as Welby moves to c. He smiles at 
her, but she ignores him. Enter the Duke l., 
crosses below Mrs. Mulholland to c. She drops 
down l. a little. Welby is r. of her. Lady Henri- 
etta is by well with 'paper. The// arc in rough, 
shooting dress.) 

Duke, (gaily) Well, what's to be the order of the 

day ? Tea in half an hour, and then what do you say 
to a ride over the moor, or an hour's fishing in the Crag 
water? On parole, of course, {to Hicks) Just go 
inside, will you, postman, the letters will be ready 
presently. 
Hicks. Yes, your Grace. 

(Crosses l. above them awl ait l.) 

Lady Henrietta, (with dignity and handing him 

paper) Have you seen this V 

Duke. Yes, a moment ago. (takes paper from 
her and crosses to below well) A copy came with the 
other papers. I bad hoped you would never see it. 
crumples pap,,- and throws it away) 



A(tT ,i.i the DUKE OF KJLLICRANKIE. 103 

Lady Henrietta. You must be satisfied now. 
Our degradation is complete. 

$ ) • era i ' ' < l without wilting for his excuses. Welby 
tries to speak to her, but she puts him aside. He 
turns away.) 

Duke. I'm sorry — more sorry than I can tell you. 
(Exit Lady Henrietta.) 

(Duke goes to gate, lean his head on it, Mrs. Mul- 
holland moves to Welby, taps his shoulder.) 

Mrs. Muliiolland. Gorgon ! 
Welby. 1 beg your pardon ! 
Mrs. Mulholland. 1 said " Gorgon ! " (moves 

fo~L.) 

Welby. Take care — even the worm will turn. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (slops and turns back to Urn) 
All, thank you, at last I have it. That is the word T 
have been trying to find. Worm ! 
(Exit l.) 

Welby. (god up to parapet) Nice pass things 
have come to now. 

Duke. Yes. If 1 could only find out who has 
given us away, I'd make it hot for them. 
(He says this very fiercely, frightening Wel: y, who 

nearly falls over parapet. Duke holds him hack.) 

Have you any idea ? 

Welby. None— none whatever, (rises and move. 

down c.) 



104 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act III. 

Duke, (comes down R. of him) Anyhow, I'm 
going to bring matters to a head. 

Welby. I'm glad of that. I want to get out of 
Scotland. I've got a list here (produces paper) of the 
various names that Amy has called me during the last 
week. Listen {reading) — " Poltroon, amateur bri- 
gand, milk- sop, panther, gorgon, Don Juan, skeleton 
in the cupboard, and Baron Munchausen." I ask 
you, is that a fair description of me ? 

Duke. Not all of it. (crosses l.) 

Welby. (follows him) I don't mind the Don 
Juan. It's in the blood of the Welbys. Ten years 
ago, when I was a lad of thirty 

Duke. Quite so, Harry. I'm sure you were a 
man at whom mothers trembled. One can still see 
traces of it in — in your expression. 

(Crosses r. below well. Welby follows.) 

But there are other things to discuss for the momn^t — 
everything has gone wrong — our adventure has 
become a scandal in the Press, the one thing I meant 
to avoid — and I propose a change of tactics. 

Welby. Do you ? I've no fight left in me. I'm 
demoralized, (sits on well) 

Duke. The idea is this. We'll give them their 
freedom to-night. Ind-ed, I've already told Mac- 
bayne to start the maids packing up, and I've ordered 
the ponies and the 'bus. 

Welby. What ? 

Duke. Yes, I mean it, We'll let them go. We'll 



Act III.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 105 

tell them that we no longer wish to marry them, that 
a week of seclusion with them has opened our eyes, 
and that we find they are not at all the ideal 
creatures we had imagined them to be. 

Welby. I am to say that — to Amy ? (rises) 

Duke. Why not ? 

Welby. Why not ? Did you see her at the Albert 
Hall Fancy Dress Ball as Britannia ? 

Duke. No ! 

W t elby. I thought you hadn't — it was a terrify- 
ing sight, (moves to c.) 

Duke. That's nothing. I think you'll find that 
when we throw them over they'll veer round. I've 
been watching them very closely, and anyhow — it's 
our last cartridge. 

Welby. You mean that if we, so to speak, throw 
them over, they would jump at us ? 

Duke. Yes. 

Welby. It's a good idea, upon my soul it is. I 
should like to humiliate her just once, but, frankly, I 
funk it. 

Duke. Good heavens, you're a man, aren't you ? 

Welby. No, no, I mean, yes, yes — it's not that 
Now, if I could lock myself in that room (pointing up 
to window) and induce her to come here, where we are 
now, then I could parley to her from the window. 
What d'you think ? 

Duke. I've no idea — I don't see that it matters. 
(goes up r. c.) 

Welby. What doesn't matter ? 



100 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act III. 

Duke, (com?? down r. of Welby — irritably 
You, or anything concerning you. If there's one 
thing maddens me more than another, it is that the 
moment we get together, you begin to talk about 
yourself, (turns and goes up) 

Welby. (following him) Do I ? Do you know 
Mrs. Mulholland's description of you ? 

Duke. No. 

Welby. She says you are a walking autobiography. 

Duke. She may say what she pleases. 

Welby. She does. 

Duke, (looks off l. and then comes down l. of 
Welby) Here comes my lady, (urging Welby 
towards door l.) You clear out. Go and tell Mrs. 
Mulholland that everything is over between you. 

Welby. What ? At once ? 

Duke. Yes. Now ! (passes Welby across) And 
if you get into trouble, do anything, sound the gong, 
and we'll come to your rescue. 

Welby. (bracing himself) Very well, I'll do it. 
But don't be surprised if you do hear the gong. 

Duke. Go away. There needn't be a scene ; 
tell her gently, diplomatically. Don't wound her. 

Welby. My dear Ian, if it comes to wounding, 
believe me, it's five to one on Amy. 

(Exit dejectedly as — 

(Duke hides in doorway — Lady Henrietta enters 
by the upper entrance l., moves towards door. When 
she sees Duke, she turns away and paces in an exag- 



Act III.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE- 107 

yerated manner across the stage, first across from l. 
to R. up stage, then diagonally from up r, to down l. 
As she starts to go up again, Duke, imitating her 
step, comes down and, meets her c.) 

Duke. So you won't let me take you to fish or 
ride, on parole ? 

Lady Henrietta. It's very good of yon, but 1 
would rather not be under any obligation whatever 
to you. (crosses r. beloiv Duke in the same way) 
And I can get exercise here, in this — the prison yard. 
(goes up R.) 

Duke. May I smoke ? (takes out cigarette case 
and opens it) 

Lady Henrietta. No ! {crosses l. up stage) 
Warders on duty are not allowed to smoke. 

Duke. As you please. 

Lady Henrietta. On second thoughts you may 
There is less chance of your talking. 

(Duke closes case, she comes down to l. of him. He 
is c.) 

Duke. I wanted to smoke because I've things to 
say that are both humiliating and sad. 

Lady Henrietta. Humiliating — of course — to 
me. 

Duke. No. I don't think that's quite fair. 
I've neither said nor done anything that could 
humiliate you. My offence has been that you were 
to me so rare— so wonderful— so beyond my reach 
bv fair means— that I stole you. For I do ask 



108 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKTE. [Act III. 

you bo believe, in all sincerity, that on the day you 

arrived here, 1 loved you blindly -madly 

Lady Henrietta. And now? 

Duke. Well- now comes your happy release. 
(crosses to l. of well) 

Lady Henrietta. Release. 

Duke. Yes ; yon shall go home to-night. 

Lady Henrietta, (doubtfully) How- good of 
you. Bui is there a train ? 

Duke. Yes. If you leave here within an hour, 
yon can catch the London express at Perth. 

Lady Henrietta. But my things aren't packed. 

Duke. To-morrow then, if it suits you better; 
but the point is that 1 have realized what a wrong I 
have done you in bringing yon here. 1 know now 
that you are right, thai we are utterly unsuited to 
each other, thai marriage would be unendurable. 

Lady Henrietta. Tm glad you see that. I 
told eon so, years ago. didn't 1 ? (mores to C.) 

Duke. Yes. 1 admit it. Years ago: but my 
cms hadn'1 been opened then. 

Lady Henrietta. Really. And now that they 
are open, what do yon see ? 

Duke. I see one who is all that is good and beauti- 
ful, one whose friendship 1 shall always claim and be 
proud of, but one whom 1 would uever dare to marry. 

Lady HENRIETTA. Then J have actually cured you 
of loving me ? 

PUKE. You have, indeed ! (mores to above iccll) 

Lady Henrietta. I'm dad. Ian' 



Act IIL] THE DUKE OF KILLICEANKIE. 109 

Duke. Yes, isn't it a relief. And you did it all 
so cleverly — so painlessly. 

Lady Henrietta. Did 1 ? (moves to below well 
and sits) 

Duke. 1 mean that in the week we've spent to- 
gether, you've shown me yourself— your inmost self 
— so naturally, so ingenuously, that the vision my 
imagination had made almost real, gradually faded 
away, and I saw you at last as you are. 

Lady Henrietta. Isn't that — just a little- 
hard ? 

Duke. No, no. {comes down r. of well) Don't 
mistake me. 1 mean, that instead of finding you the 
weak, commonplace, womanly woman, who might 
possibly some day have cared for me. I find you so 
immeasurably strong and even grand of mind, so 
utterly above me in all things, that 1 have not the 
vanity to wish to be worthy of you. 

Lady Henrietta. It all sounds as if 1 were rathe 
horrid. 

Duke. Not for a mcment. It only means that 
in realizing the beauty and strength of your soul, I 
have found my level at last. 

Lady Henrietta, (turns her head away) If I'm 
so objectionably perfect. 1 ought never to be a duchess. 

Duke. 1 think you might. 

(She look* up at him.) 

But not mine. You see, as one grows older one begins 
to be dependent on creature comforts. You must 



ll0 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act II] 

marry some one who has still enthusiasm and hope, 
one who is brave and fearless — a sort of gambler in 

love 

Lady Henrietta. You needn't go on. 1 don't 
believe I'm quite such a lottery as that. 

(A gong sounds.) 

What's that ? 

Duke. Nothing. What were you saying ? 

Lady Henrietta. I wish you'd tell me how it 
was that you first lost your illusion. 

Welby. (coming for a moment to the doorway) 
It's all right. 

(Duke crosses to l. c. and motions Welby to go away.) 
That was the gong for tea — I haven't begun yet. 

(Exit) 

(Duke turns bock to Lady Henrietta, who is flaying 
with well ropes.) 

Duke. How did I first lose the illusion? Well, 
it's a little difficult to explain pleasantly. You see, 
1 first loved you as a woman, as a possible wife. 
Then, thrown together as we have been, a gradual 
change came over me. I began to admit that you 
were always right. I came to love you — as it were — 
with my head, not with my heart. 

Lady Henrietta. I thought one loved with both. 

Duke, (moves to l. of well) Possibly some do. 
But I couldn't. So when I found that my first love 
for you, which was merely human, was ousted by the 



Act III.] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. Ill 

second, which was intellectual, I realized that the 
one had killed the other, (moves to above well) 

Lady Henrietta. Then love that is intelligent 
seems a waste of time. 

Duke. I think so. 

Lady Henrietta. It's lucky for me that I didn't 
happen to fall in love with you during the last few 
days. 

Duke. Oh, I saw there was no chance of that. 
(comes to l. of well) 

Lady Henrietta. But, supposing I had, and 
that I told you so, what would you have done ? 

Duke. I should have felt bound to see it through. 
1 should have married you ; I come of a stock that 
has done even more than that. Our motto is 
*' Courage." 

Lady Henrietta. 1 wonder if you realize how 
cruel every word you are saying is to me. I feel like 
a butterfly crushed by a wheel. 
(She hides her face in her hands. He shows that he 

knows his plan has succeeded, and that he is sorry 

to pain her, but must see it through.) 

Duke. But that's extraordinary. I should have 
thought that everything I've said ought to give you 
a glow of pride. 

Lady Henrietta. It doesn't. I'm miserable. 
I wish I hadn't ruined your life. 

Duke. But, indeed —indeed you haven't. I never 
felt so normal in my life as I have these last few days. 



112 THE DUKE OF KILLK RAA'KIE. [Act III. 

Lady Henrietta, (rises) And you can honestly 
say that I haven't broken your heart ? 

Duke. Honestly. 

Lady Henrietta. You are sure? 

Duke. Well, my appetite is enormous. You 
saw me at lunch ? 

Lady Henrietta. Oh, how glad T am to hear- 
that. 

(She crosses to c. below him, then up to parapet. He 
follows arid stands r. of her.) 

J thought you were eating out of mere bravado. 
Now I shall leave you happy and contented. And I 
don't mind confessing, Ian,. that the week here has 
been delightful. 1 shall miss watching the moon 
turn the purple heather to a ghostly silver ; 1 shall 
miss the wonderful silence of the cool nights here ; 1 
shall miss (looks up at him) many things. But I want 
you to know that 1 forgive you, and am even glad of 
the trick you played us — since it has cured you of 
loving me. 

( Enter Mrs. Mulholland abrupt!// l. She crosses to 
l. c. Duke move* to R. c.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Are you aware, my dear, that 
our things are being packed ? 

Lady Henrietta. Yes, 1 know. 

Mrs. Mulholland. In fact, we are being turned 
out. 



Act III. 1 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. U3 

Lady Henrietta. But we've wanted that all 
along, you know. 

(Exit Lady Henrietta, l. u. e.) 
Mrs. Mulholland. Yes, 1 grant you that. But 
what's the good of being set free when you've no- 
where in particular to go to ? What does it all mean ? 
Duke. Hasn't Harry explained ? 
Mrs. Mulholland. Explained ? Not a word. 
As 1 came out I saw him cowering behind a man in 
armour in the Hall, (moves to c.) 

Duke. But he must tell you. (crosses to door l.— 
calling) Harry ! 

Welby. (without) Yes? 

Duke. Come here. 

Welby. All right— I'm coming. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Duke, with all your faults, 
and you have many. I like you. 

Duke. Really ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes. And I'm going to tell 
you something. 
Duke. Well ? 

(Mrs. Mulholland goes up l., beckons Duke to 
follow, and points off after Lady Henrietta.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. That girl loves vou. [moves 
to c.) 

Duke, (with a gasp of delihgt) What! [in- 
stantly recovering himself) Well, of course. How 
could she help it ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. (moves down to well and sits) 

h 



114 THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act III. 

You know your way about. You knew what you 
Were doing ? 

Duke. Did I ? 

ftfMs. MuLHOLLAriD. Yes. Don't tell me. 

Duke. \ won't. 

{Enter WELBY L. ('onus to L. (J. DUKE OOmes douv 

L oj him.) 

WELBY. What is it V 
Duke. You're wanted. 
Welby. For what ? 

Duke. Mrs. Mulholland is going to tell you. 
(sottO VOCe to WELBY) (Jo for her. 

{He gives Welby a pus// towards Mrs. Mulholland. 
Welby advances very hesitatingly to R. c, she remains 
seated.) 

{Exit Duke l.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. What have you to say? 

Welby. I've a very painful duty to perform. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Why am 1 being packed off 
so suddenly ? 

Welby. t'll bell you. Do you know the meaning 
of the words, " k d up " ? 

s Mulholland. !l is a deplorable phrase, but 
I understand it. 

Welby. Very well. Vm fed up. 

Mrs. MulhollAnd. With me ? 

Welby. No. no, 1 see your trap. If I said " yes.'" 
you'd call me " cannibal." 



ActIIL] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. n.-, 

Mrs. MULHOLLAND. GrO on. 

Welby. (producing paper) Here is a list of 
epithets you have applied to me during the past 
week, [reading out) " Amateur brigand, panther, 

Don Juan, Baron Munchausen " 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes, you needn't go on. 
Besides, you haven't told me why 1 am being packed 
off so suddenly. 

Welby. It is because at last you have worn me 
out. Instead of fanning the spark of love into the 
blaze of passion, you have trodden it out. And now 
we stand in the ashes. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Really? So that's the rea- 
son, is it ? 

Welby. Yes. The effect you produce on me is 
that I want to rest. 

Mrs. Mulholland. How interesting. 

Welby. When first we met at Homburg, 1 loved 
you honestly, devotedly. I was not veil at the time. 
(m&tes (,) L. g.) 

Mrs. Mulholland. (rises and noves fcrc.) And 
now v (crosses above him to l. c.) 

Welby. (moves to R. c.) Now, when von are 
near me, 1 have only one desire. It is to edge away. 

Mrs. Mulhollani). And how do you account for 
this sudden change of emotion? 

Welbv. I think you arc too large for inc. 

Mrs. Mulholland. 1 weigh precisely what I did 
at Hombui'i-'. 

Welby. I don't mean in physical size. That I 



ll<i THE DUKE OF KJLLICRANKTE. [Act III. 

believe 1 could cope with. 1 mean that your person- 
ality is too large. What am T when you are near me ? 
Nobody. 

Mrs. Mulholland. But are you anybody when 
you're alone ? 

Welby. Yes. 1 am at my best when I'm alone. 
You have never seen me alone — thinking. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Never ! I grant you that. 
Nor have 1 ever seen the effects of your thinking. 

Welby. One effect was that I loved you. Ah ! 
If you could have seen me night after night at Hom- 
burg, thinking out the problem, did I love you or did 
I not, you would know that my life has not been a 
continuous round of pleasure, (crosses to well and 
sits) 

Mrs. Mulholland. You couldn't make up your 
mind about me ? 

Welby. Not then. 1 have now. 1 used to 
weary myself to extinction thrashing it out, till, tired 
and saddened, in the small hours 1 would spin a coin. 
" Heads you love her, tails you don't." But which 
ever way the coin fell, my depression was intense. 

Mrs. Mulholland. A pretty story for a lover to 
tell. 

Welby. It was a very painful story, but life has 
nightmare that no man can control. 

Mrs. Mulholland. [crosses to well) And do you 
mean to tell me that when we became engaged, yon 
felt no love at all ? 

Welby. After a struggle, 1 did. I tried hard to 



AotIIL] THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. 117 

be loyal. " Once officially engaged," 1 said to my- 
self, " you have got to love her," and T succeeded. 
Mrs. Mulholland. Oh ! (sits) 
Welby. I remember the very moment I realized 
it. I was dining alone at the Bachelors' with a bottle 
of Pommery '89. Then came a glass or two of '54 
Cognac. Suddenly I felt that I loved you, and, in a 
moment the room was swimming round me. You 
will never know how moved I was. (rises and crosses 
c) 

Mrs. Mulholland. By the waiters, I presume ? 
Welby. Nothing of the kind. I left in a cab 
without any difficulty. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (rises mid goes to him) I 
should like to know one thing. Had I not been a rich 
woman, would you have proposed to me ? 
Welby. That is hardly a fair question. 
Mrs. Mulholland. I insist on an answer. 
Welby. Then, I think— remember I haven't 
really had time to work it out— had you been poor I 
would not have given you the extra hardship of 
supporting me. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I admire you for saying that. 
It shows you are no coward, as I used to think you 
were, (goes up r. c.) 

Welby. Yes, 1 have a great deal of moral cour- 
age, but of physical, little. That is why I cannot 
marry you. 

Mrs. Mulholland. That may be. You have 
got to do it, however. 



lis THE DUKE OF KILLICRANKIE. [Act II] 

Welby. (shows his delight) Wha1 *.' 

Mrs. Mulholland. (comes down it. oj Welby) 
Do you really imagine that having been the victim 
of a newspaper scandal, having been immured here 
with you for a week under most compromising c ir- 
cumstance3j any other course is open to me ? For the 
sake of the good name that il has been an almost 
hopeless struggle for me to keep, you have got to 
marry nic. (goes down R.) 

Welby. Go it! I like that. Wild horse3 won't 
drag me to St. George's, Hanover Square. 

Mrs. Mulholland. (goes up to him) Naturally. 
Horses in London are not, as a rule, wild. You will 
he driven in a hired brougham, for which I shall 
probably have to pay. (moves to well) 

Welby. How dare you ! Never in my life have 
I been made love to so truculently. 

Mrs. Mulholland. I am not making love. 

WELBY. Then I don't know what love-making 
is. 

Mrs. MuiiHOLLAND. I'm quite sure you don't. 
(sits <>n well) Our marriage would he primarily one 
of convenience. 

Welby. What— on a tariff? 

Mus. Mulholland. A tariff? 

Welby. I mean, an allowam e per annum, and 
that sort of thing. 

Mrs. Mulholland. The lawyers will see to that. 

Welby. It's not that I care for money it^ itself 

Mrs. Mulholland. No, of course not. 






Act III. j THE DUKE OF K1LLICRANKIE. U«> 

(Welby goes to well, takes off hat, and kneels on one 
knee. 

Welby. Amy, I have been hard on you. 

Mrs. Mulholland. You have been cruel to a 
degree, and wearing all the time (points to his tic) 
a tie pin that 1 gave you in happier days. 

Welby. I am sorry, (rises) And you really 
insist that we begin all over again ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Yes, 1 do. 

Welby. Very well. Then I'll go for a month to 
some health resort, (walks feebly up stage and leans 
on parapet) 

Mrs. Mulholland. Why ? 

Welby. I'm not as strong as T look. 

(Enter Macbayne, followed. by two Maids, each carry- 
ing cloaks and dressing-bags. Macbayne crosses 
R.j unlocks and opens gate. Mrs. Mulholland 
rises. Her Maid gives her her gloves and follows 
Macbayne and Lady Henrietta's Maid off. 
Then enter Duke. He conies r. c. to Mrs. 
Mulholland.) 

Duke. The omnibus is waiting below. Your 
luggage will follow. So our Midsummer Wight's 
dream is over ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. Where is Lady Henrietta ? 

Duke. She is coming. I wanted to drive over 
with you, but she won't hear of it. 

Mrs. Mulholland. Well, then, good-bye. And 



120 THE DUKE OF K1LLICRANKIE. [Act III. 

many thanks for a most delightful — (looks at 
Welby, who is R. c. above them) no, let me be honest, 
and thank you for one of the most painful experiences 
of my troubled life. Good-bye ! (gives him her 
hand) 

Duke. Good-bye and good luck. 

(Mrs. Mulholland goes to below well and picks up 

parasol.) 
I hope we shall always be friends ? 

Mrs. Mulholland. 1 shall continue to bow to 
you. 

(She goes to gate. Welby stands above it, his hat in 
his hand.) 
Duke. Ah, your heart is in the right place ! 

{Exit k. Mrs. Mulholland. She turns and looks 

at Welby before she goes off.) 
( He kisses his hand to her, replaces his hat, and crosses 
below well to Duke, who is r. c.) 
Welby. It's all right. I've crushed her. We're 
engaged again, (shakes Duke's hand) But, by 
Jove, it was a struggle. 

(Exit r., following Mrs. Mulholland.) 
(Enter Lady Henrietta dressed for travelling. Sht> 
comes to L. c. Duke goes up R.) 
Lady Henrietta. Has Mrs. Mulholland gone ': 
Duke. Yes. She is waiting for you below. The 
prison gates are open wide, (points off through gales) 



Act III.! THE DUKE OF KILLJCRANKIE. 121 

Lady Henrietta, (crosses to l. of well) Yes. 
It feels quite odd, and even a little sad. 

(Duke comes down l. of her.) 

Well, good-bye, Ian. you meant well, and all's well 
that ends well. And as a token that 1 forgive you, 
here is a sprig of white heather that I found the day 
you took us out on the moor on parole. 

Duke. I shall keep it always, (puts it in button- 
hole) 

Lady Henrietta. Well, good-bye. 

Duke. Good-bye. 

( They shake hands.) 

And Tin sorry Eor all I've dowe. 

Lady Henrietta. You needn't be. (crosses 
slowly to gate and stops) Good-bye. 

Duke. You've nothing Ms- to say ? 

Lady Henrietta. No. have you ? 

Duke. No. 

(They shake hands again, and Lady Henrietta goes 
slowly out h. The Duke left alone, aires a dis- 
appointed shrug of the shoulder, and sighs. He then 
takes the white heather from hi* buttonhole, and 

presses it to hi* lit)*. As he does this, Lady Henri- 
etta returns through gate, and sees his action. 
She (jives an involuntary era of joy. On this the 
Duke turns sharply round, and sees her). 

Duke. What? Tired of your freedom already? 
Lady Henrietta, (coming to him, and very 



l2 2 rHE DUKE OF KILLICBANKIE [Act. in. 

simply) Vcs. [an. Now that T am free to go, I mean 
to stay. 
Duke, (taking her in his arms) Dearest ! 

(He kisses her. and as he dors so. Hicks, still dressed 
as Postman, comes through the door l., and, unseen 
by the others, tales o snapshot of them with his 
camera.) 



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